I don’t know who else to talk to

[Dededaisy]

Hello everyone,
So my ex called me up the other day telling me her was going to have sex with other girls (detail removed by moderator). It’s so so cruel. I have such low esteem it’s unbelievable I don’t believe I have any value. So this morning I wake up to messages and miss calls from him at (detail removed) .
This is not normal behaviour is it? It’s cruel and nasty and truth be told, I can’t help but feeling I deserve this. I have had a lot going on lately- my anxiety and depression are causing me to have stomach problems (which I’m going to hospital to get it investigated) and I’m already working a very stressful job. I don’t know how much more I can take. Even when I go no contact, he still manages to mess with my head. Ladies, I’m so sick of feeling this way. I’m not eating at all throughout the day. It’s like I’ve become addicted to feeling like this ?

[Hetty]

Lies lies lies. He’s sent them when he was drunk and now probably couldn’t care less. How these men love to play the victim card. Have you thought about blocking him and telling your friends not to talk to you about him? It’s too hard to heal with the endless mind games. Get him out if your life ASAP. Rip the plaster and take the pain. It’s the only way to save yourself ongoing heartache. I agree it can feel addictive, almost like a self harming behavior. I know it can be awful to think of them with other women. They think they’re chocolate, totally irresistible to other women. Shows how low their self esteem is. I eventually got to the point with my ex when I couldn’t careless who he was with. I slept soundly knowing he’d be messing up someone else’s life. He’s left a trail of destruction with others ever since. Onwards and upwards for you xx

[KIP.]

Hi, zero contact is the only way forward or he will destroy your mental health. Sounds like he’s already had a huge detrimental effect. Nobody who cares about you would threaten this. It’s designed to get you running back to him. My ex did it too. Eventually he tried to rub an affair in my face and I ran, not straight to him but to a divorce solicitor. I’d had enough mental torture and you will reach that stage too. Zero contact and if he persists then ring the police for advice. You deserve better and he choose to behave this way. Save yourself x

[KIP.]

You can talk to your local women’s aid. They were so very helpful and won’t judge you or tell you what to do but can give you advice on how to deal with abusive men. A safe exit plan too x

[Findmyself]

Hi dededaisy,
My ex tormented me with the first person he got into a relationship with after we split- phoning when he was with her, telling me when they were going to have sex, sending me photos of them together. This really bothered and upset me and he knew this. It ended it after a few weeks. He told me he ended it because he missed me so much- I think it’s coz she saw through him.
He’s now got with an old friend of mine who I know is very vulnerable and will fall for his charms. He tried to do the same thing this time and torment me again but as soon as I knew they were meeting I went completely no contact. I knew I couldn’t handle hearing all the details again and I have to say it’s the best thing I’ve done. We spilt a while ago and every since I’ve been in a quandary he continued to bully me and make me feel guilty for the affect me ending the relationship was having on him but since going no contact he can’t get to me anymore and I have actually started to heal from everything. Its not easy but it’s definitely worth it

Xx

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