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How abusers become so good at manipulation.
All the tactics used are so obvious once you know how to recognise them…how do they become so good at manipulating, surely it takes…practice??? Who do they practice on, why, how…? Childhood trauma, survival, all this makes sense, but I survived horrible things in my childhood, yet I didn’t become an abuser.
Sorry, this morning my mind is all over the place.
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I was asking my cab driver this very question this morning (detail removed by moderator). Where do they learn it? How did they learn it and we didn’t?
I think that my ex has been honing his skills on previous girlfriends. His first serious relationship that I know of was when he was (age removed by moderator)and he battered her on several occasions. Several girlfriends later and I end up with him. He was only physical to me once (although my son had it worse than I did) but the emotional, financial and verbal abuse were present. I believe he has spent his life practicing, refining his techniques so the physical is less necessary.
I feel so bad for the next woman he gets with.
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I think they learned it as children.
They learned to manipulate parents, peers…
They honed it over the years.
I think for them to treat us so terribly, they must have lacked respect for their mothers and females in general. They learn to take advantage of female characteristics. They exploit our emotions, and even use marriage and parenthood as a vehicle for abuse and entrapment.
However, my ex was disrespectful to males too. He underpaid his workers and overcharged his clients.
Coming to terms with the manipulation wasthe hardest thing for me. The fact that someone can be so fake, and think others are so malleable.
I think a lot of abusers get their comeuppance from victims who are sickened and furious at this.
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