I dont understand

[Liquorice]

Im supposed to want to leave, right, but i dont want too.i love my husband and he loves me, our little one loves it when we are all together, why would i want to change this, fair enough he can be unkind at times but everyone deals with stress in there own way.i dont see the point of going through all the drama of everyone knowing, looking at me funny, sympathy etc just to be alone…..uuugghhhh i feel like i have two minds sometimes…constant questions to myself, am i mad, did i do that, say that?? Is he that bad really or am i over sensitive?? Is this a normal marriage am i making something out of nothing

[iwillbeok]

Hi, I recently had the scales ripped from my eyes in a traumatic way. As part of my healing process I have begun to journal. As random things come to me I jot them down. At first I was thinking “this just looks like a whiney wife list” but the more I’ve written (and read of other’s experiences)the more I can see the patterns; it all adds up. I’ve mentioned some things to my women’s aid workers and they’ve said – you know that’s a common pattern? Eg isolating from some family while bringing others ‘on board’.

Write everything down; read about gas lighting, trauma bonding and n********m. There’s a rather clever article I found via Google about the games n*********s play. I can PM if you can’t find it. It uses card games as an analogy and that was quite an eye opener. The main aspect I’ve struggled with is that his behaviour was on purpose – not just how he was/personality defect but was done in a calculated way to make me undermine my self esteem and control me.

Writing things down can also help with the ‘was i just imagining that’ aspect of things.

[Liquorice]

Thank you iwillbeok, its been suggested a few times that i try writing things down, i dont really know where to start though, and what if someone/he finds it?? I had a little look on google but theres so much its a little overwhelming and i just give up x

[Nova]

Hi iwillbeok please DM me the card game I have just seen him on social media..lording it up…lead me to read his ugly manipulative emails, of the past decade…telling me I have a problem with my friends and family, HE isolated ME from! I told him in the past he was an abusive narc…guess what…he said I’m an narc…see how it goes with them…if you give them a speck of any insight they turn it right back at you.

Looks great …for him…on paper.

I’m seeing a lawyer soon…I need all the reality reminders I can get…vile n**********c abuser…sorry Liquorice this is your post though has triggered me to the max.

Cx

[Nova]

…I googled the n********t games..eye opener thanks ladies as ever you come up with some insightful posts for our empowerment

Cx

[Anonymous]

My ex also used games with me . Hes insane

[Liquorice]

Hey cuppa sorry youve had to see him ” lording it up ” nothing seems to affect them does it, while were falling apart they get to just carry on with there happy life!! Hope all goes well with the lawyer for you xx

[Liquorice]

Iwillbeok could you please DM me as i just get confused with all the stuff that is coming up, i just dont have a chance to read theough it all x

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