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The weekend was not pleasant and I’m still getting over it, in other words still upset.
Had a busy few days meaning I’m up late, not slept well.
Woke up this middle of night to him touching and in me really struggling to even write this.
I was shocked but he had got me ready so went along with it ok, got into it even. But after I’m angry, that he woke me and took it upon himself to just do it. He thinks it’s ok. I’ve said it’s not.
Now I’m confused, was I into it or not. I have posted similar before, sorry to go over it again. It’s confusing me, feel like I’m overreacting and giving him mixed messages.
I am no good with communication or boundaries.
Sorry if this offends anyone.
CB
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Hi Chocolatebunnie,
Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation, You are not over reacting and none of this is your fault. you have been with someone who has completely disresgarded your boundaries for a long time.
Sometimes it can feel confusing if your body had a biological response and you mentioned you went along with it but that still isn’t consent. Abusive men have no respect for women and often feel entitled to sex and women’s bodies- you are not to blame for his behaviour.
Best Wishes
Lisa
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Thank you Lisa your support this has meant a lot to me.
I have only recently started to understand how wrong things are. Still sometimes this is confusing but my gut was telling me that this is wrong, why else would you be upset.
To be frank, I was still upset with him anyway from the weekend and what happened then. So no I did not want this to happen.
Your reply has confirmed what I thought. But I needed to hear it from someone else. It’s not a discussion to be had with just anyone or to be had at all maybe.
Grateful there is this forum to get support, I just don’t want to be a trigger for anyone else who has experienced similar problems.
Cb x
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Just wanted to send a hug your way.
Lisa’s response is well worded.
I’m so sorry you are going through all this.
We’re all here for you.
That was horrible and very wrong.
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Hi chocolatebunnie, Reading this makes me think of myself. My husband does the exact same thing and expects it everytime he touches me. We have currently fallen out so I have been sleeping in my (detail removed by Moderator) room in the spare bed the past few days just to avoid this situation.
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Thank you for your replies both of you and hug xx
I have to set boundaries or learn to keep myself a safe by sleeping elsewhere another bed. I need to have a talk with him but I know he will joke about it or next time persuade me.
excepting who he really is is hard but I’m getting there.
Sorry that you have been through this too. It’s difficult isn’t it, getting your head around it. I know there’s support out there not ready to make that step yet.
Cb x
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I am so sorry to hear this. You have to have consent to do the things he’s doing to you, otherwise, it is deemed as rape. I’ve been raped several times and perpetrators always make you feel like you have no boundaries. Please seek help from Rape Crises and there are a lot of additional online resources that can support you further with the issues you’ve raised. I hope you get to be in a safer place soon.
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Dear Chocolatebunnie,
I wasn’t able to get back to you earlier, but I’m so pleased that you are thinking about getting some support. You should also only reach out when you are ready. It took me years of silence before I disclosed what happened to me and our journeys towards support are all different. For example, some people never report violent and sexual crimes against them.
I wish you all the best of luck in your journey to healing,
Weather
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