I don’t what to do , feel so lonely 😭

[Whatgoesaroundcomesbackaround]

Hi
So I recently caught my partner cheating on my With a work colleague, and he was lying that he was going to night shifts when he was actually going to this women’s house . I knew he was having an affair (detail removed by moderator)

So only one day I went through his phone because he fell asleep drunk holding it . I didn’t want to go through his phone . But I did . Gosh I found out that he was busy going to this women’s house and having sex . (detail removed by moderator)

I have never left sooo hopeless in myself that day . I felt like he died . I asked him he didn’t deny it . He used to exchange I love you with this women too.

To make matters worse I have a toddler with this man .It made me feel sick for days . After asking him he wasn’t remorseful at all .

He apologised but it felt forced .
To cut the story short I forgave him , and I asked him if he still wanted to be with us and he said he wasn’t sure . If he said it’s not going to be same anymore since you found out .

And also he could be very defensive each time we would have a conversation. And played the victim.

I have been trying to move past it but he seems to be mad at me finding out .
I tried moving forward so we can start romance because i still love him . And I thought it will kind help in the process of us getting back to how close we were, but each time I initiate he pushes me away .

Am soo confused does he still love me or not .
Before I found out we were still having sex etc
And his been drinking each time he comes from work or when his off
It really sucks , he doesn’t want to do stuff with his child or me .
We are always indoors

[Bananaboat]

When caught mine said you’ll always hold this over me things won’t be the same – ie they put the blame onto us for being upset, making us the reason the relationship will suffer rather than their action of cheating.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this but as you say he’s not sorry, he’s learnt that’s what he needs to say to keep you sweet, he doesn’t mean it. He won’t change, he’ll probably cheat again because he’s ‘got away’ with it and they have an entitled view about themselves. I also had the drinking and being stuck at home because he doesn’t want to go out hungover but neither are you allowed to go without him or if you do it’ll be constant criticism. I know I hurts but he won’t change. He knows he’s hurt you and his actions are showing he doesn’t care. You deserve better xx

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Whatgoesaroundcomesbackaround

What a horrible sickening kick in the teeth for you. Do you feel you could ever trust him again after he’s invested so much energy in seeing this other woman and deceiving you this way?

I am so sorry that you’ve suffered this, such a betrayal. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like he cares, more that he’s just angry he got caught out. It doesn’t sound like there is anything in your relationship, has has no respect for you to treat you this way, it is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship.

You haven’t said anything that indicates he feels any shame for his actions, or compassion for the pain he has caused you. That doesn’t sound like someone that its healthy for you to be with. You do deserve so much better. Start to hold yourself in higher esteem, deserving of better, and prioritising your emotional needs and wants above his as he cares so little for yours.

warmest wishes
ts

[Twisted Sister]

you will feel less lonely being on your own than you will with someone who treats you this way, there is no lonelier place to be than feeling lonely whilst apparently in a relationship.

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