- This topic has 9 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 5 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
My ex and I split up (detail removed by moderator) but I am still suffering the after effects of what he did to me. I haven’t had a meaningful relationship since, I’ve built such a high wall and am constantly second guessing everything. I feel like he has changed me irreversibly. I have recently been back in touch with someone from (detail removed by moderator) (before the abusive ‘relationship’). We were in love with each other back then and never told each other. I’ve opened up to him to explain why I am the way that I am. He is truly brilliant but I still second guess everything that he tells me and I hate it, I know that it’s irrational but it’s just how I am now. On the phone today he reduced me to a blubbering mess with just 4 words. They were “It’s not your fault”. I still fell so much blame and guilt for everything and feel like that will never change. He suggested that I seek help to work through the trauma. Honestly, the bloke’s fantastic but I still don’t trust him. He doesn’t deserve that & I hate myself for it.
Sorry for the rambling, call it textual diarrhoea! -
Be gentle with yourself. Recovery does take time. I remember feeling exactly like you do. I felt like id completely lost myself and perhaps had died inside somehow but my body just didn’t realise.
Things will get better. You’ll start to trust yourself and your gut and trust again. You’ll start remembering the little things that made you tick and enjoy them again.
Have you considered the Freedom Program at all?
GR
-
-
-
-
-
-
hi amipermanentlybroken,
this guy seems great and really supportive.. but maybe speaking to another man right now isnt the ideal thing to do. maybe you need more time for yourself and once you recover you can speak to him or someone else.
however, if you do really want to speak to him i suggest going to therapy and working through ur issues of the abuse and take things very slow with him and enjoy it.. falling in love again is going to be such a beautiful experience for u and its so exciting! dont be afraid not all men are terrible
-
Hi AmIPermanentlyBroken
If you talk to your local DV charity, they should be able to get you on to the Freedom Programme. You can use the WA directory to find your local DV charity. https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/
-
Hey, sorry to hear that you feel like this. But it’s completely natural. Abuse takes a lot of time to recover and heal from and I truely believe you don’t ever completely recover. Give yourself time, time is what will help you. And I found that educating myself helped aswell. Support groups like this. You are amazing, you survived. Take that as a starting point and work forward from that. I had to stop myself feeling guilty and start making myself feel proud. Give yourself some more credit. This is your life now. You are in control. Focus on what you have done lately that you are proud of. Abusers have a very clever way of stripping any positive thoughts you have about yourself away I know, so even this can be a struggle. And I do agree with a previous post. Don’t force yourself to move on until you are ready. It will only cause you more harm if you aren’t healed and it sounds like you’re not just ready. Recovery will not happen overnight and (detail removed by Moderator) months down the line, as positive as I do feel I do still have bad days. But again, it’s to be expected. Xx
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
