I feel low with setback after setback

[Positiveandlookingahead]

I had an interview today ladies it went well but I came out if there feeling as though I wasn’t quite good enough for them. I just found read the interviewers body language and he was quite confrontational about one of my achievements but it’s my achievement and I’m proud of it for my own reasons. I just feel like I’m trying to keep my head above water and since I married him I’ve had bad luck after bad luck with jobs! Just when I start to feel stable bam something happens and my role comes to an end because the company is restructuring or I’m made redundant because there just is not enough work.

I have other interviews coming up soon and they are better opportunities so I’m hoping to try and race the positives from this. I just have to keep picking myself up again and again and again I’m fed up of it. I’m also more self aware and I can read people’s body language more now. I just can’t stop thinking about that one question he pulled me up on and how he made he feel. I’m not imagining things but I can’t get it out of my head. I just feel frustrated with it all. I also feel a bit up and down as I know my divorce is coming through any day now and I never want to feel like I am not good enough I am good enough for everything! X*x

[fizzylem]

Hey, I’m reading you had a tough interview today – so this is very fresh – sounds to me like you are maybe being a little hard on yourself – all interviews cause all of us some level of anxiety hey and some can be awful, especially when they don’t go as we hoped. Whether you have been in an abusive relationship or not, we all need to pick ourselves up after a horrible interview – this is normal and expected hey. Re this interviewer, we cant please everyone all of the time can we and that’s ok? Wondering if you have had a lucky escape working with him? This time next week you will have probably forgotten all about today and be onto the next. You also have the added pressure of trying to keep your head above water – today was important to you. Can you think about some of the aspects that went well today that you could maybe draw from to take forwards into the next interview? To redress the balance. Keep chipping away PALA and it will happen for you at some point I feel sure.

[Dragonfly]

Hi

As FL said you’ve probably had a lucky escape working with him. I think you recognised something in so much as how he made you feel. You felt he was confrontational – because he was! But you are quite rightly proud of what you have achieved. I’m guessing you wouldn’t want to start a new job whereby your new boss has already tried to make you feel bad. Not a good basis for starting anew. It does say to me that you’ve moved on somewhat and can recognise the signs.

Onwards and upwards, there’s more positives to come.

[Serenity]

Hi Positive,

Interviews are difficult things at the best of times. They are often cut-throat, and the interviewer is trying to test us and catch us out, especially if there are many people going for the job!

I think you’ve got to cut yourself some slack. Attending interviews after all you’ve been through is a massive thing. Whilst showing how breve and resilient you are, your present feelings are reminding you of something: that you’re human, and also that you need to be extra kind to yourself because of all you’ve been through. You’re a brave and positive person, but need to really care for yourself too!

After experiencing difficult interviews, make sure you take a good couple of days to literally regather your strength. Sleep, meditate, rest. You’ve grown and evolved as a person through all this pain. You will find a job that’s right for you, and you will achieve great things without that albatross around your neck ( your abuser!) x

[White Rose]

Don’t be hard on yourself just be yourself and sell your qualities to the panel.
If you’re worried your achievement may not be good enough for them then say it… I know this may not seem much of an achievement to others but… describe it than follow by why is was so good for you e.g. new skill learned after being scared of doing it/gained confidence /boosted your self esteem/first time you’d worked in a team and had a key role/showed you that you are resilient etc etc.
I tell the younger people I work with that it’s their achievement and be proud of it and also about a little boy my mum knew who learned to tie his shoe laces he was born with one hand and he learned how to do it with his false arm – not tight enough to keep his shoes in but he was proud of it and kbew it was the first step toward something bigger and better.
Good luck with the interviews x

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Thank you all 😊. If I am successful I don’t want it. I’ve decided I’m not really going to be treated in this way again and I have a gut feeling. I didn’t understand what my gut feeling was telling me when I married but now I understand how important it is not to ignore it. I will focus on the other interviews next week I’m glad I’ve had some practice my next one is with a woman who is meant to be lovely so I won’t have any of this to deal with! I cleared my room out of all his letters, birthday, anniversary cards he got me I ripped them all up! It felt soooo good I’m trying to declutter my life and start afresh and I’m sure that will help.

I definitely do need to do something for myself next week I feel like the interviews are quite stressful themselves. I’ve decided to chose a destination from a list of places I’ve never been to and go there for the day or go to the beach. The sea always relaxes me! Either way I need to do this journey by myself. I’m trying to get enough me time as possible I’ve also been doing Yoga and other exercise classes. Once I’ve done my interviews and this one thing for myself I’m going to look into volunteering and joining a team, enrolling on a course to learn a new skill or language. I need to do something regarding and fulfilling for me I’ve said this for a long time but haven’t been ready but I think the time has now come! X*x

[Ayanna]

That job might not have been for you.
Sometimes things happen for a reason.
Carry on with the interviews. You will get a job again.
Things will turn around and life will become better.

I had difficulties with jobs as well.
I was very traumatised and this reflected in everything I did.
I was severely harassed and bullied by my male manager when he found out what I was going through in my private life.

On top of this it took me a long time to even being able to go to a job interview.
Then I finally did one and it was not great, but I got the job.

It took months to get all the paperwork done, which was actually in my favour, because it added to the time that I had to get better. I have been in this job now for a while and things get better there.
I had some difficulties because of my trauma. They would not know and thought I am just plain stupid.
I just carry on and work hard and things improve.

[Author]

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