I feel much better

[Alicenotichains]

…. So I usually post when experiencing a massive weekend “I miss him so much” crisis but I thought I would give a mid- week update. I feel ok- I stuck to No Contact- went for a run, had a good cry, looked after myself. I am not going to be brought down by either of these two men. Every time I have a craving to contact my ex and I don’t I feel like I get a little piece of me back. I now have boundaries. It feels strange but I can feel healing taking place. I never would have thought I could have lived without him- to let go felt like death- but guess what?! I am still alive and surviving X

[KIP.]

Surviving and thriving 👏👏

[Serenity]

So glad, Alice.

Yes, the healing starts to sneak up on you: you suddenly realise the wounds are starting to heal, ever so slowly.

You certainly will be able to live without him. You will positively flourish.

[Nova]

Alice Great to hear. even the smallest steps move us forward. sending good vibes 🙂

[Confused123]

lovely to hear hun

[Anonymous]

So pleased you had the courage to stay no contact, something I struggled with months, no contact now for months, it’s so hard but all part of the healing process, wish we could all keep taking steps forwards with no backwards steps, but they make that impossible to do. Slow baby steps, keep strong & stay positive xx

[Lyng]

That’s good. Please tell me. Do you have kids? What does “no contact” look like when you have kids he has access to? This is what I am struggling with at the moment. I have not verbally spoken to my ex in (detail removed by Moderator), but up until recently we had text communication. He has cut off all communication, and forcing visits to go through kids, which I feel is wrong but seems like because of my kids’ age I can’t avoid. Child services knows the situation and so does my lawyer.

[Beenherebefore]

Well done Alice. That’s inspiring to hear xx

[Alicenotichains]

Thank you ladies. I can’t believe I have stuck to “No Contact”- I didn’t think I had it in me. I have surprised myself.
Lyng, I have 2 ex abusers, one I have kids with one I don’t. The father of the children and the kids communicate on their phones- if he gets a chance to speak to me or if he get in my personal space he is abusive so I keep my distance. Kids live me and they see him sometimes – all arranged by them. He has upset them in the past so we play it all by ear- they know if they don’t want to see him they don’t have to.
My recent ex who I have been split up with (detail removed by Moderator) is the one I am going totally no contact with. It’s much easier without sharing parenting.
I just worry that with my recent ex, the total no contact might trigger a power grab- I am on my guard in case he turns up unexpectedly for some kind of revenge- I don’t know how he will deal with this and as I have blocked him on my mobile I can’t tell if he has tried to contact me or not so I can’t see him
coming. The ex who I have kids with uses the fact we share parenting as a doorway to be abusive. But he is the circling shark whose fun I can see, I have no idea what to expect from my other ex- I have a police marker on my address and some new locks. I don’t think he will risk breaching his parole conditions and being carted off to jail but who knows. Time will tell. The “no contact” is maximising my safety I know that now. X*x

[Alicenotichains]

*fin not fun 🙄

[Author]

Posts