You have been conditioned to accept the abuse and/or justify it for the abuser. Your conditioned to the environment of abuse, the environment an abuser creates.
If you can not talk with someone without feeling hurt and you can not trust someone, there is a problem.
Because of the above, it is even more pertinent that you get out. And you already know this, or you would not be on here.
Here for you when you need to talk. Hugs.
Chickadee