I feel so depressed

[gladtobefree]

I feel awful even writing this and haven’t been on here for a while but I’m so desperate now. My so who is now (detail removed by moderator) is being so abusive. I’m aware his age is difficult but I don’t know where to turn. He won’t work due to his own issues such as (detail removed by moderator) and I’ve taken on more work but he doesn’t allow me to rest and I still do the chores apart from a few He will do and even thats a challenge and I have to go on and on. He doesn’t care how he treats me at all and if I even dare to set any rules or boundaries then I have hell to pay. (detail removed by moderator) If I try and confiscate anything due to him being abusive it then gets so much worse. I have a younger child at home also so beg him to consider how she feels. He will try and convince me I’m the problem. For example at (detail removed by moderator) I had been very unwell and was in hospital and vomitting. After dinner he made me scraped the left over food off the floor that he had dropped even though I was still unwell and being physically sick. He then proceeded to call me names while I cleaned up the mess. This is just one example of how he behaves. He will often pretend to be nice to have what he wants and then once he has it he will turn again and tell me there is nothing I can do. I don’t know what to do anymore. People advise me to not get into an argument but it’s easier said than done when I feel that he is not allowing me to be the parent in the home and is a bully. He is so entitled it makes me angry and so upset. I’ve always worked hard as a single Mum and gave my children all I could and more and it has made him and his elder brother quiet spiteful to me. I don’t really understand how they are this way when it’s always just been me and them against the world. Both my sons have used my younger child against me and told me that she will also hate me one day too. Sometimes I think they do actually believe I was an abusive parent but I can’t understand it. I do all they ask of me and do anything I can to help both my sons. My eldest no longer lives at home but he is the same to me in ways. If I ever even try and advice him or tell him something he done wasn’t ok then I have to listen to hurls of abuse and an attack on my personality. I don’t know why that have so much hatred for me

[Lisa]

Hi gladtobefree,

I’m sorry that you’re feeling so low right now. I’m glad that you wrote this post to share how you’re feeling, you haven’t done anything wrong in doing so. You deserve to have support with the abuse that you’re experiencing. Your son’s behaviour is abusive and it’s understandable that it’s impacting you so deeply.

You don’t mention that you’re getting any support with what’s happening. You could reach out to your local domestic abuse service for some ongoing support. Abuse from a family member is domestic abuse. They may also have a dedicated children’s/young person’s service to support your younger child with the impact on them. If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (8am – 6pm weekdays and 10am – 6pm weekends/bank holidays). They won’t tell you what to do but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

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