I feel so guilty

[sweet4]

I am looking into a Non Molestation order, like i did nearly 3 years ago, but, he pays the mortgage and all the bills, do you think that’s low? xx

[minimeerkat]

just my thoughts
does who pays what really matter at all when someone is having to do what they need to do to keep themselves safe? x

[sweet4]

Mmmmmmmm x

[browneyedmum]

Hi @sweet4 !

I’m facing similar and decided to just put it down for today and consult my domestic abuse support person again tomorrow, alongside with a couple of trusted friends.

My ex and I don’t have a mortgage, but he’s trying to get out of paying his part of the bills in this house where his children are most of the time.

On top of that, I believe he’s financially abusing a vulnerable relative.

And I want to report the financial abuse, but of course, I don’t want it to come across as ‘retaliation’.

So yeah, its sometimes tough to think through and make the best decisions there.

In my case, on one hand, safeguarding that vulnerable relative is no longer my responsibility. On the other hand, its a vulnerable relative and by principle, I should be acting on that.

However the consequences for me may be great because it wouldn’t take my ex very long to figure out who made the report.

So if I do it, it might need to be in coordination with a non-mol and/or occupation order… because his wrath will be great. It would put his new job at risk, etc. And is that ultimately the outcome that I’d like?

Its a lot to weigh and balance xX.

[sweet4]

TO much to think about, i will call (detail removed by Moderator) on the morning, if they are open, i just keep chasing them xx

[browneyedmum]

Absolutely. Do it in your own time and in your own space. Consult a lot. Figure out what you can do there.

And most importantly, stay safe xX.

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