I feel so low :-(

[Blondexxxx]

Hi sorry I really don’t know where else to post as I can’t even speak to my friends or family.
I live in the same house as my partner but he ended things a few weeks ago, silent treatment, nastiness blaming me for everything.
He asked me and the kids to leave but gave us ‘time’ to find somewhere but was making it impossible to live in the house kept making me think he was seeing someone else.
Sleeping on the sofa etc….coming home late.
It was (removed by moderator) and I didn’t want to appear nasty so I offered to take us all out he actually agreed! Then since then started being nice again, phoning me asking me to do him favours or help him with work.

I started feeling like I found the old him again he was being so nice and we was sleeping together again.

Then (removed by moderator) every time I was ringing him or trying to talk he made it out like I was hassling him, could t be bothered talking to me, never replied to texts, getting annoyed at things at home again telling me what I did wrong.

I started to feel a little stupid today as I asked him to do something as a family this bank holiday and he replied just with the words sorry can’t.

I felt really sick and stupid all day at work, had he tried to prove a point that after all the nastiness he could still have me back?
Was it a control thing?

I sent him a message and said I didn’t understand why he was being hot and cold again and he replied saying what did you think was going to happen I was just being civil for the kids

My heart and head turned into anger! How is sleeping with someone, going for meals, days out, etc just being civil!

Am I going crazy! Soon as I got mad he said (removed by moderator)

Telling me we don’t get on and he doesn’t want to be with me!

Then making it out like was all in my head

I feel so stupid and upset like I don’t even want to be here anymore because I’m so angry with myself

He then blocked me! I feel like getting my things and leaving even if I have to stay on a friends floor it’s just I have children and all my belongings and the house belongs to him.

I just can’t even talk to anyone as everyone will think I’m stupid for even trying to be nice with him!

🙁 x*x

[Fairyliquid]

Please do not feel stupid

Of course when you see glimmers of the person you love and the person you want them to be you will go back. Hope is a powerful thing.

It takes soo many times on average to leave.
You may feel like you can no longer talk to others but keep reaching out here.

We have got you.

Please try and put yourself first. Are your kids safe without you?

Womens aid and refugee will be able to help.

All the best. Keep talking to as many people as you can.

[Hereforhelp]

Hi blondexxxx, my heart pulled when I read your post, I am sorry your husband is treating you and your children so disgustingly. You are right, it is control… the push then pull… the nice bits are what keep us there longer… as he will never change/accept accountability or responsibility for any of his actions. To leave an abuser you need help and support, Womans Aid are great and confidential by phone or their online chat…

It isn’t you, you are not going crazy, what he is doing to you makes you feel crazy and is designed to derail you.

Keep posting ❤️
HFH

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