I feel so low will I ever feel truly happy

[Positiveandlookingahead]

I can’t be strong, I can’t keep laughing I feel absolutely distraught about it all. I need help. My marriage is over I started the divorce e left him but why don’t I feel happy? Ahhhhhhhhh

[Serenity]

Hi Positive,

Highs and lows are a natural part of recovery.

Some days, I feel I can take on the world. Others, I have felt immobilised.

I’ve taken a lot of wisdom from the women hefe:

When I have low days, I take what KIP calls a ‘mental health day’- I take life 50% slower, treat myself with kid gloves and care for myself.

I do what Peaceful Pig says, and the first thing I do is treat myself with true compassion. I try not to blame or question myself, or my actions ( I divorced mine too- and we did it for an important reason).

When unbearable feelings hit you, try not to fight them. Recognise they are there ( my counsellor said to even give the feelings a name, acknowledge them), face them, and let them wash over you completely- then move on.

You will get these moments of sorrow and when you question yourself. Tomorrow, the reasons for the steps you took will appear clear. It’s all part of the mind working through the trauma- it’s multi-layered, like peeling skins off an onion.

None of this was your fault. Keep strong x

[Whenwillifindhappiness]

I know exactly how you feel. Your not alone and that’s what keeps me going. WE ARE NOT ALONE. this is all normal feelings. I ended my relationship, assaulting me while pregnant was the last straw but I near enough have guilt everyday and want him back. He’s moved on already so just shows what horrible human he is. They will never change no matter how hard we change for them. Time is a great healer is what I hear most everyday but it won’t be like this forever!! There was a reason you ended and stick to them reasons. Write them down, keep them noted, add to the list!! We can do this

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Thank you both 😊. I felt like this because my mum started talking about me getting remarried. I spoke to her today and said im not letting anyone look for me or even discuss this with me until I Am READY! I don’t give a c**p about what my culture says about marriage and girls having a time limit etc I was rushed into marrying him before I will not have that happen again. I’ve told her as well my goal is to save for a deposit to move out I’m standing on my own two feet. She understood and said it’s up to me if I remarry. I know she has my best intentions at heart and she wants me to be happy but getting remarried is the last thing I want to think about. I’m still figuring out who I am and what I want in life and I am in control now no one else. I feel so much better for letting it out I cried so much because it’s my worst nightmare and I’m not having anyone put any pressure on me. This is my life, my healing, my recovery and I have to focus on it the way I know how and that’s by myself. I want to build my life for me it’s all I can think about I don’t have head space for a man and I don’t think the ultimate goal is to get married. The ultimate goal for me is having the lie I want to lead. X

[Positiveandlookingahead]

I still feel like rubbish. Bumped into a lot of people who knew I was married and I know people mean well but they started hugging me and saying sorry and it made me cry! I can’t do sympathy! What really makes me angry is how everyone tells me now what his family was like but not one person told us before! It’s all good telling us now how bad they all are. I also have another religious event coming up and I’m absolutely dreading it. I haven’t slept properly for days because I’m worrying about it. I don’t feel like going at all. I just feel so low I can’t stop crying! I went out this evening and was even crying there in a public place. I hate this but I can’t stop it! I’m a disappointed in how all of this turned out because I gave everything into this relationship. I stood by him when he let me down to an unbelievable level and I chose to believe in him. Will I ever get over this heart break? I just don’t trust people anymore I’m not the same person I used to be. I didn’t imagine my life to turn out like this. I wish I never met him!!!!! 😣😣

[lilaclady]

I totally feel for you. I feel the same. Its so hard. For me I am at the realisation point where I am heading for divorce and I feel totally heartbroken. The disappointment and sorrow at how things have turned out is just sometimes too much to bear. I love your post Serenity, I have re-read that a few times and it helped me today. And I guess it is going to be many highs and lows. You are not alone in this Positiveandlookingahead… not one bit your post echoed exactly how I am feeling today. Sending you a large hug x*x

[Author]

Posts