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Ladies I had the best holiday. I cannot remember the last time I laughed like that! I had so many men who wanted to talk to me, dance with me, told me I was so beautiful. I cannot stop crying. I met people from all across the globe they complimented me so much. It’s given me such a boost to my confidence. I met a gorgeous guy on holiday we danced every night he wanted more but I put boundaries in place. He kept telling me he wanted more and then I told him what happened to me. He looked so shocked and sad and couldn’t understand why anyone would do that. He didn’t take advantage of me knowing I was still fragile but he backed off and respected me. It made me realise that I am beautiful, I am attractive, I am wanted, there are lots of good things about me and I was in control of the situation. I don’t have to and will not take abusive put downs any more! This is my life and I’m choosing how to live it! X*x
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Thank you. I felt so alive and so happy in my life! I knew I wouldn’t see my hunk again but I was blowing hot and cold with him so I didn’t want to lead him on. I don’t think I want to open up like that to anyone who is a potential life partner. I need a few months where I purely focus on myself. I was so ill the week before my holiday I kept bring sick and I had so much anxiety. I cannot believe I got through it and enjoyed myself so much! I don’t regret meeting my husband, felling in love it’s shaped who I am x*x
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Thank you 😊. I’m so proud of myself because I’ve blocked and deleted him. I don’t want to give any attention to any guy right now I also felt a little annoyed with him cos he told me he was jealous I danced with other guys. They were professional dancers who danced with all the girls and vice verse I can do what I want. I can’t deal with mardy, jealous possessive guys so I’ve cut him off. I also feel like he’s judged me because of what happened to me because he didn’t speak to me properly after so that’s made me think I’m not having anyone think it’s acceptable to treat me in this way. I can’t have any distractions I have to really focus on who I am, what makes me happy and move forward in my recovery. If any guy tries it on I’m just going to simply say I’m not interested. The only person who is a priority right now is myself and when I am ready to start dating again I know I will have the strength to put my boundaries in place. I will also speak to women’s aid about this because I need to figure out what to say about my marriage failing because I’ve realised I can’t tell the truth about this to any guy in the future. X*x
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Hi positive, I’m so glad you enjoyed your holiday but sorry you had to deal with this guy being disrespectful. Still it sounds as though it was a helpful lesson. I can’t see myself dating again in the foreseeable future but I have thought how difficult it would be to get to know someone without giving away anything about my past, both my marriage and my family. Just normal polite questions would be hard to answer without lies. I suppose just sticking to bland statements like ‘it just didn’t work out’ or ‘we grew apart’ would suffice until they were tried and tested and deemed trustworthy. I often end up explaining more than I intend to, I know I’m not safe near any man yet! Xx
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Thanks my lovely 😊. I know I’m so proud at how I handled it! It has given me experience of what can happen in the real world and will only mean that I become more aware of things. I think he just wanted to use me for sex as he kept wanting to do things and when I explained I can’t have sex with someone I don’t love he laughed and asked why not. My boundaries are my boundaries they are there to be respected and if they’re not goodbye! I won’t be dating any time soon I am sensitive and have my guard up with men I’ve realised that now and I really want to be happy in myself before I take that step. I only want to tell the man I spend the rest of my life with what happened to me as I like to believe that there is someone out there that will love me for who I am. I think that’s a good thing to say because I don’t want to be judged or seen as a potential target it’s exposing your vulnerability in front of someone. I’m just going to say that we should never have married we came from different backgrounds and he was doing stuff behind my back which was unforgivable. I think that is sufficient but I guess we must protect ourselves first because one thing I realised on holiday is that we do matter, we are our priority and the only thing we must put first is ourselves!! I will not let this happen again as soon as I see the red flags which I can now recognise I will remove that toxic person from my life this girls eyes have been opened up to the evil that is out of there and when the time is right it’s down to a man to show me why I should be with him. I don’t need a man to enhance my life I need a man to show me why he deserves to be my future. Actions are far louder than words and I am going to take any future relationship very slow and at my pace but in the meantime I am going to write in my journal, self reflect, read positive affirmations every day, continue with the gym and spending time with those who love and care about me! This is the only way forward to focus on me and what makes me happy. Anything and anyone who tries to threaten my happiness and wellbeing has to go! Xxxx
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