I had told

This topic contains 10 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Iwantmeback Iwantmeback 1 week ago.

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  • #67910
    Profile photo of Icandothis Icandothis 
    Participant

    My ex about the horrific abuse id had with my first partner of nearly 2 decades.. i wernt goinf to say anything at first but thought he should know. He knew also me and my sons had been to private counselling. Now what i found were whenever i challenged him over anything he would say to me that i urgently need to see my counsellor.. and i should watch out for the white coats.. is this gaslighting??? Also when i tried to end it he would send me a picture of his son or put him on the phone to me. This guy went to private school and had a better upbringing than me… he used to go to bed with his childhood teddy bear.. his behaviour were quite odd… he used to be all nice till i ended things then the venom would appear.. x

  • #67914
    Profile photo of Iwantmeback Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hello Icandothis, that sounds like gaslighting. Using something against you that you told in confidence is horrible and manipulative too. Does he say you’re being too sensitive afterwards as well,? He was emotionally abusing you with regards to sending you pics of his son and putting him on the phone. He in no way had a better upbringing than you my love, or a better education just because he went to private school. Did he tell you that, or do you think he had that because of the way you were brought up. he only had these opportunities due to money. Many people mistakenly believe that because you went to private school, you were better educated than us poor plebs who went to council schools, because you speak posh, you’re obviously more intelligent than us. Not so. Jyst look at the eejits in charge of the country the now, those who speak with plums in their mouths, we’ve fallen for that lie for too long. 😡
    He’s just a wee boy who didn’t grow up, just like all abusers. The fact he still goes to bed with his childhood comforter says a lot. I’m glad you’re no longer with him💜

    IWMB 💕💕

  • #67917
    Profile photo of Icandothis Icandothis 
    Participant

    Thanks i want me back.. he knew i had a dysfunctional upbringing and used to say its my background and he doesnt blame me… he also kind of tried to scare me when we seperated and said he would call in at my sons workplace.. i must add my son has special needs and hes aware of this x

  • #67918
    Profile photo of Iwantmeback Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi, I’m hoping he’s just all bluster. Did you let your son’s coordinator/boss know what he said? They’ll be able to stop him seeing him, if you let them know of his threats. Trust your instincts💜
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #67919
    Profile photo of Icandothis Icandothis 
    Participant

    Yes i did so my son were safe… who the hell would threaten to go to my sons workplace… this is him with his privelleged upbringing 😂

  • #68268
    Profile photo of Iwantmeback Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi Icandothis, yeah privileged upbringing my a*s. Learnt manipulation and getting what he wanted more like, nothing privileged about that. I’m so glad your boy’s okay and safe. I pity his own son. (detail removed by moderator)IWMB

  • #68273
    Profile photo of Icandothis Icandothis 
    Participant

    Your right there iwantmeback. Hes really messed with my head. Hes used my past against me saying ive too many hang ups… too dam right i were with my first abusive partner (detail removed by moderator) nearly.. ive 3 sons with special needs. I trusted this man telling him about my past. He wernt one for spending anything he once even kept my change from my train ticket.. when i used to challenge him he then would say i need to see my counsellor.. and say he has the love if his son thats unconditional made me feel guilty.. x

  • #68274
    Profile photo of Julka Julka 
    Participant

    What a tw.t… happened and still happens to me, husband told me that my abusive father was right to have abandoned me as a child…you wouldn’t make it up if you tried, seriously… sending hugs x

  • #68276
    Profile photo of Icandothis Icandothis 
    Participant

    Hi julka yes he used to say watch out for those white coats.. when i ended it he even said he would call in my sons workplace too… knowing my son has special needs… i fell for his charm and sweet words.. he holds people to account for a living.. he saw i were vunerable but my gut were alerting me.. on the first date he started slobbering all over me… x

  • #68280
    Profile photo of Icandothis Icandothis 
    Participant

    When he were ill for a couple of weeks he moved back to his parents house so hia dad could look after him.. his dad also cares for his wife who had a stroke too.. he had sent me a picture of the canular in his arm when he were in hospital… total attention seeking.. id met his parents who are nice people… but when we seperated he made me feel bad by saying he would now have to break the news to his parents how theyl never see me again.. x

  • #68290
    Profile photo of Iwantmeback Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    I think his parents deep down know what he is like. When i left my first husband it was his parents i missed the most, i truly loved them. It was his own mother who actually told me if the marriage wasnt working dont stay in it, we had a great relationship and i miss them to this day but she was a wise lady and I’ll never forget the two of them. In fact if he could have been taken out of the equation I’d still be part of that whole family, except my oh now, would go ape s..t
    He’s got serious issues in regards to my ex, who i have no feelings fir either, but that’s anither story.
    IWMB 💕💕

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