I hate him

[smallbutbrave]

<p style=”text-align: right;”>So after a rougj few weeks of him being just awful and me not reacting (which has been hard but it appears it is not safe for me to try and defend myself as it makes</p>
him mad)  he came home (detail removed by moderator) in a foul mood.  He was really aggressive towards me in the (detail removed by moderator) and wouldn’t let me leave the room.  Lots of clenched fists and at one point he help the (detail removed by moderator) as if to put it round my neck.  I have never felt fear like it.  He said if he hits me he just won’t stop.  Demanding to know why I won’t show him any affection.  Demanding I give him more in the bedroom.  I don’t know what to say back to him, no matter what I say it just angers him some more.  He said do I want to end it once and for all and in my head I am screaming ‘YES, lets just break up, I can’t donthis anymore’  but the reality is if I aay that he will attack me.  So Like a mouse I say ‘no….’

 

later on he did something so bizare.  I was making my lunch for work tomorrow and had a knife in my hand, he came in demanding to know how I speak to my co workers.  He held my neck from behide and pushed it into a kitchen cupboard door then as I turned away to try and leave the room he grabbed the knife by my wrist  (detail removed by moderator)

 

Now he is waiting in bed for me and if I don’t put out as he calls it I worry for my safety

 

Sorry to ramble

[Eyeswideopen]

Dont know what to say other than I’m so sorry you are experiencing this and I really hope you are looking for ways to leave and be safe! This is all so so serious… and I’ve been there, threats, aggression, the fear and then soothing over to try end the escalation 🙁 Please please leave. Call DV to red flag your house to the police so if you ever fear something bad might happend and he gets phiscally violent you can just ring and they come. Seek support, we cant live like this…

Sending you love x

[Sad and alone]

This sounds an awful, awful situation.

I understand all about trying to not react and just accepting everything. It’s hard. We shouldn’t have to live like that, being muted almost. I have actually said I want to leave but then get all the reasons it would be terrible for me if I did, how I’d regret it, how I’d never find anyone decent like him. I don’t know how lucky I am apparently. Even when I get told to go, and I said once fine and take me to the station, it never happened. He followed me everywhere in the house as I was trying to pack things up, and then basically refused to take me. Once before I just got in the car and drove hours to a family member. I never told them why. I called them on the phone upset, but when I got there I made out it was less than it was.

Physical violence is very scary, especially when they go off on one and you don’t know where it’s going to end.

Is it just the two of you? Do you have anywhere you can go or someone you feel you could confide in?

Have a chat session with Women’s Aid on here and get some advice, or they can tell you local organisations that can help. It’s not fair for you to live like this.

[smallbutbrave]

thanks for your reply

 

I don’t have anywhere else i could go.  I am very close to my parents and siblings but they all live overseas.  I would drop everything tomorrow to go stay at the safety of my parents but I have my job and I really don’t want to gove that up.

 

I have told someone at work some details and she was horrified, her reaction said it all.  Also my parents know bits aswell and they hate his guts.

 

😔

 

 

[Bananaboat]

You can find another job, let your family help you get out x

[Author]

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