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Welcome to the Forum hadenough.
Its hard not to fight back. In fact it can be impossible at times. Living with my ex-husband/abuser’s behaviour was too much for me. His behaviours robbed me of my joy. Their behaviours wreck our heads and make our lives unmanageable. Its good you reached out for support here.
The support here will strengthen you and knowledge is Power. You will gain huge awareness and not feel so alone.
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Hi and welcome. There is a helpline number on here if you could manage to call. It might take a few times for you to speak but the ladies on the line are great. You’ve taken a big step by posting on here. I remember the feelings of fear and guilt, like I was betraying him. That’s just the brainwashing that comes from abuse x can you speak to your GP
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Yeah he makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I have a (detail removed by Moderator) old and he trying to use the excuse that I’m suffering from pnd. It makes me laugh. He treated me like a princess when we first met I thought he was the one. Now I I can’t even look him in the eyes. He is a total different person. I’m pretty isolated. I hardly ever go out. Sit in my Pjs all day. Very nervous about talking to anyone. That’s why I saw this forum. Reading all the story’s is so powering.
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one of the biggest steps is making that first step to leave. be careful though, because for me when I started fighting back that’s when things went to the point of no return.
the thing is you already know this, because now your fighting back (whereas before you would have ignored or remained quiet). in some ways that fighting back is likely another big step because now it means that a little of that self respect you didn’t have, or lost, has come back.
that little spark that’s ignited, you need to keep that strong.
I got told the other day to look in the mirror each day, and tell yourself that I will do my best to protect myself. that I am worthy of that.
I wish I had done that before.
so even whilst that tough time is here, take the time to do that- because that little spark right now (sounds like its in a precarious place), and that spark needs to be protected so it can grow,
it may seem like a long way off but that tough time has to end. there has to be a point where that spark is a flame. that will give you the strength to make the decision you need to.
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