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I don’t know if I am strong enough to do this. But I am really struggling. I have blocked him and he is emailing me and I have explained some things and kindly asked to cut contact completely. I am so scared of being on my own my injunction on my ex finishes soon. I don’t have anyone to support me. Now that I have left him I am even more afraid. I am questioning myself weather I made the right choice as this time I left him as I am poorly and he went out last night and said he would be back home (Detail removed by moderator) and then didn’t even call or text he rang me at (Detail removed by moderator). I just don’t know if I can trust him. I actually feel like nothing. Like I mean nothing to him. I feel so worthless and need someone to hold me and take away all this pain. I’m even questioning my own decision am I doing the right thing. But why am I questioning myself when all I do is cry because of the way he makes me feel.
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Hi Anonymous,
You are not worthless and anyone who can’t be bothered to keep his promises especially to someone who’s feeling ill, is not trustworthy.
Have you got any friends or relatives who could come and spend some time with you? A hug from someone who really cares about you is worth 10 of his hugs.
I’m sending you hugs and strength to feel better soon. Maddog’s suggestion of talking to someone from one of the helplines might really help you, they have helped me through rough lonely times.
Best wishes, take care of yourself ❤ -
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Anonymous Im feeling exactly the same way. I am trying to put a plan into place to get him out of my life and yet I am so full of self-doubt and wondering if Im doing the right thing and if I can go through with it. I know that if I can see the plan through in the long run I will have a happier life. I have a number to call given to me by the helpline for a solicitor to get the non-molestation order in place but havent yet plucked up the courage to call it. My counsellor had said to keep things as they are until I get things into place but it is really difficult as now he is saying Im being cold and distant and putting guilt on me saying Im playing with his feelings and completely playing the victim in all this. He doesnt in any way acknowledge the abuse he has put me through for years and now everything is my fault. I just go to try to be strong to go through with it all. It would be ideal to stay with family to get away from this house (he doesnt live with me thank god). but my daughter has school and it would be difficult to get her there from where we would be staying but it is doable. Reality check this evening when I was sitting with my daughter staring into space without realising and she looked at me and said “Mum why are you so done? I looked at her and said “done? what does that mean?” and she replied “done with life” at that moment I knew I had to get both of us out of this situation. I wish you all the strength to get through this. xx
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Cloudyday:
I really hope you get out. Stay strong and think about your daughter. I have grown up with an abusive father and went through abuse as a child and I feel that’s the reason I end up in these avusive relationships now. Put yourself and your daughter first and find that courage to move on from him. I am really struggling as I have got back with him. I really wish I could just let go and stop letting him hurt me. When I was in one of my previous relationships which was abusive it was so hard for me to get out and once I did I started getting myself back together then I fell in to another abusive relationship and that was good and bad not as bad as the previous one then I left him and now I am in another one I have become so immune to the abuse that it’s become normal to me which scares me.
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