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    • #18969
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      After I long term abusive relationship, I have just had the realisation that I have never been loved.

      I have been a position, something to be shown off, something to ridicule, something to control, something to rape, something to take him pent up frustrations out on.

      He said he loved me but he never did because if he did he wouldn’t have done what he did and doing.

      So will have the strength to try and find love, I just don’t know.

    • #18972
      Eve1
      Participant

      Hi Falling Skys,

      I think this realisation is a another step on the way for you. Abusers definitely don’t love us.

      I feel that I am still on that journey to find love too, but I strongly feel right now that we have to love ourselves first, and to do that we have to be free from our abusers. You have been strong in doing that. Now probably isn’t the time to do more than concentrate on yourself. I know that I can feel love for others. So at some point, when we are ready, someone will love me, and you.

      Hugs
      Eve
      x

    • #18976
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi Eve

      I enjoy being me, and stay away from men that might make a move on me as its not something I want.

      It was just a light bulb moment and I thought I’m a grown woman and have no idea what being loved equally is.

      FS xx

    • #18980

      I often want to ask my husband for his definition of love…i wonder what he would say.
      I know what love is, and it isn’t what he offered me.
      😞

    • #18982

      I am sorry you feel this way FS,I don’t think they can love you if they get pleasure out of hurting you, making you walk on eggshells & bullying you. That is not love is it,is think it is more them having an internal need to lift up their feelings of inferiority or even jealousy by bringing you down.it gives them a hit of power when they spark fear within you. People who love their partner do not frighten them.

    • #18987
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Thank you both for replying. Think once the house sales and I can move on completely I will be a lot better.

      I dont feel tearful about it today.

      FS xx

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