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I’m a single mum again, I miss him even though he hurt me and never supported me but I stayed because I was too scared to be a single mum again and to feel the horrific loneliness that comes with it. I couldn’t stay with him, I couldn’t do that to my daughter but I want him so badly. I constantly feel sick, I can’t cope with these feelings. I feel totally at a loss and totally desperate. I need friends around me but there are very few, I’m so lonely that I’m scared I’ll contact him again. I want my family back. I want to feel intimacy so badly. This pain is unbareable.
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Yes there is sometimes loneliness but its not horrific – it can be peaceful, pleasurable as well if you make it that way – and eventually after the pain subsides you could have that if you choose. Restoring calm in your life is only a good thing, removing the chaos, stress and angst he brings – calm is good – try to stay with it, process how you feel, engage with the pain and the loss you feel and one day it will lift and you will be so very glad that you stayed the course x
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