I just need a hug today

[nbumblebee]

I know i should stop posting but truth is im lonley. I have friends and support but feel like they dont understand like i cant bother them. Im lonley and fed up.
Husband is starting to moan again not huge very small niggles he says he is better wont go and see anyone because he has apparently changed and yes we have had some real nice days but nagging where are you what time etc has started again today. But my mum has joined in moaning that i dont have time for her. What is wrong with me working? im trying to build it up i dont make much money not yet but I hope i will one day. It takes time. And i have dreams such dreams regarding my work.
I love what i do why can people not see not be supportive am i selfish? For the first time im thinking maybe it would be easier to stop go back give them all what they want happier? No i wont be but life wouldnt hurt as much.
I dont know why its so wrong to go to work i still do all that is expected of me at home.
Even my PT is now ignoring me after weeks of daily messages from him.
I just feel like im usless and un wanted selfish and wrong.
Its got to be me and i need to find out what on earth is wrong with me to always be getting it wrong. Im sorry i guess im low and i just need a hug.
Thank you. Xx

[Stargazing1]

Hi @nbumblebee, just trying this out .

[Stargazing1]

Looks like it’s fixed @nbumblebee.

[Stargazing1]

My mood is quite low . I’m not really wanting a hug but I’m quite down . I seem to be waiting forever for the women’s aid to get back too me . My son is really grinding me down too . My other half is in a good mood due to the hobby being able to be done . Apparently my face looks sad its been noted by folk . I’m losing faith in myself.

[tiredofitall]

Please don’t stop posting. We are all here for you and understand. The problem is the other people in your life don’t get it. And people can be selfish onky thinking of themselves. It’s not a reflection on you – it’s them. But people like us are pleasers so we feel it so much when we think we are letting people down. But you are doing the right thing by working and doing something for yourself. You need that one thing. Don’t give it up. And keep coming on here. I’m always looking for your posts to see how you are doing. Sending a virtual hug x

[nbumblebee]

I feel so stupid to let it get to me so badly. Some days it just all feels too much the smallest thing sets me into a downward spiral its so daft. Im sorry i moaned about nothing really and i am most grateful for your words and understanding even if I dont deserve it. Thank you so much xx

[tiredofitall]

There isn’t any need to be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do. It’s hard. It’s tiring. Always trying to please anx never seeming to be able to get it right. It’s just so hard. I remember so well every day feeling despair with my life and not knowing how to make it better. Just please try and believe that you deserve to think about yourself, you deserve to be happy just as much as they do. xx

[Lisa]

Hi nbumblebee,

Just wanted to say there’s no reason that you should stop posting. I understand it can feel that way but this is what the forum is here for. You offer so much support to others here and you are allowed to need that support too. Sometimes you need to share what’s going on for you with others who understand because they’ve been there too. You can express things here and know someone will be reading who has shared in what you’re going through.

You deserve to be happy. There is nothing wrong with you working. Work is one place where you get to feel like yourself. You’re good at what you do and that helps you maintain your identity. The people who are telling you that you’re wrong to be working know this and don’t want you to have that sense of self because it’s a threat to their control and getting what they want. It isn’t about you, it’s about them.

Take care and keep posting as much as you need to,

Lisa

[nbumblebee]

Thank you Lisa. I feel rather stupid for letting such a silly small thing get to me. Sorry.
I am grateful for your words xxxx

[Bananaboat]

Sometimes it’s the small things that tip us over the edge. Sometimes one person’s small is another person’s big. And sometimes dealing with multiple small can be just as hard, or harder as dealing with 1 big. So what I’m saying is don’t think whatever is going on isn’t important or ‘big’ enough. Life is tough at the best of times without all this on top and as others have said, this forum is a godsend full of people who get it. So don’t stop posting xx

But maybe do stop texting the PT, you get enough of the silent treatment blowing hot & cold at home to deal with ❤️ xx

[nbumblebee]

Thanks for understanding. Some days you just cant take any more can you? No matter how hard I try I cant seem to forget nor forgive my husband. I feel like its my issue now not his. Its just so hard. With regards to PT yes I am trying so hard not too I hear you I rwally do but something inside ny head needs that reasurance that contact its weird im weird!!!!

[Bananaboat]

You’re not weird! At all! You’re seeking comfort and safety, that’s all and there’s nothing wrong with that ❤️ As for your husband, why it is your problem? as many ppl say once those rose tinted glasses drop you can’t pop them back on, now you see the things he does. Be kind to yourself x

[nbumblebee]

Thank you so so much BB.

[Stargazing1]

You don’t need to stop posting @bumblebee . Your not doing anything wrong . No one should be stopping you going to work . They should be pleased for you . Make sure you keep posting please . Sending GIGANTIC BIG HUGS TO YOU.

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