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Hi Anonymous. Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I can totally relate. My ex used to accuse me of the craziest things and blame me about everything all the time. He always called me a cheater though I never cheated, I didn’t even talk with my male colleagues to avoid a problem with my ex. My ex was late for work… my fault, his car broke down… my fault, it rained… somehow it was my fault! But this is what they do. They try to make us feel guilty about everything and there comes a point where you actually start to believe everything is your fault. Don’t let him do this to you. Yes, you have probably made mistakes, we all do, but do we deserve to be treated like rubbish because of that? Of course not!
You wonder why he can’t just be happy with you? Well abusers can’t be happy with anyone. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, he’s never gonna be happy. It took me a long time to understand that, actually I am still struggling with it. But I now see that they can’t be happy with us because they are not happy with themselves, they are just sick people who make us sick as well.
Just try to do something nice for yourself. Even a long relaxing bath or taking a walk at the park can do wonders. You probably don’t feel like doing anything right now, but trust me, doing something small for yourself really helps.
Big hug
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The accusing you of everything he is saying and/or doing is ….. making sure he looks great and you look bad and also faulting/guilting/blaming you so that your self esteem stays down…..it is all a control tactic.
He will never just be happy with you because nothing you do will ever be good enough because he is the one that is actually miserable and is draining off of you.
Here when you need to talk. Hugs!
Chickadee
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