I knew it would come

[Chocolatebunnie]

Honestly I’m so hurt, implied I turn kids against him

During a stressful situation where one of the kids turned to me not him he said this.

When all that was needed someone to be kind and supportive

They don’t go to him as they feel safer with me, the kids talk to me because he’s caused them hurt. I’ve never poisoned them against him I’ve only ever wanted a happy family.

It’s been a weekend of it.

Each day something and I can’t wait for tomorrow when he leaves for work.

I’m not putting up with this anymore I just can’t do it anymore.

Feel sick to my stomach and want to cry but I can’t

I knew the honeymoon period would end and I have promised myself this will end too.

Just gotta choose my time carefully.

[Eggshells]

Your children don’t need anyone else to turn them against their abusive father. He can manage that perfectly well all by himself. Blaming you means that he doesn’t have to question his own behaviour. It’s avoidance of the truth and it’s also a stick to beat with you.

Sadly there is no point trying to defend yourself. In his world thus us your fault and nothing will change his mind.

It sounds like you might be planning to leave? If so, please do speak to Women’s Aid who can advise you and help you to stay safe.

[Bananaboat]

I had all this, it really cuts deep but as Eggshells said, he’s done all that damage himself. He’s projecting how he feels about himself onto you. I stayed longer than I should’ve thinking it was for the kids and to try to build a happy family but getting out has been the best thing for them, and it will be for you. But expect a lot of mud and nastiness to be thrown at you in the meantime xx

[Chocolatebunnie]

Thank you so much for your replies. It’s meant a lot and exactly what I was thinking too so it helps that you’ve said this as it’s helped clarify my thoughts.

I’m still feeling extremely raw today, I knew it would come and I had braced myself but I guess we are only human after all.

I just want to find a way out of this.

It’s hard when you’ve got things planned, the kids are looking forward to the plans and I can’t on this occasion do it alone. But I feel the perhaps I should just count my loses and free myself and the children and make new plans?

I need to stay in the home, I need him to leave and I know there’s going to be hard times ahead when I pursue this so I’m being cowardly as I should be putting kids first, especially now it’s so clear to me I’ve no excuse.

Spent half my life with this man and nothing changes.

[Author]

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