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I actually left him! Im shocked i have actually done it.
But my daughter is understandably upset that her mummy and daddy are not going to be together any more and seeing her upset it breaking my heart. I know i left for her own good. She was already being impacted by his drinking and projecting his insecurities onto her, let alone what he was like with me.
So why do i want to go back 😠i feel so guilty that ive turned her world upside down and that she is feeling heartbroken. It is breaking my apart to know that she is hurting. I feel like gling back would make her happy again.
She will have regular contact with him as things stand.Leaving was so so hard. I didnt think i would ever do it. And now im gone i miss my home and am so overwhelmed with guilt that i have done this to my girl and caused her suffering.
Help!!
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Well done, so brave and a great role model which your daughter will realise one day. Stay strong , right down all those negative things and reread them.
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One of my favourite sayings and one that helped me begin to finally start thinking about leaving was ‘never accept for yourself behaviour from a man that you wouldn’t want for your daughter’.
Well done, as already said you are being a super role model for your daughters adult life.
Stay strong and best wishes.
🤗x*x -
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I can’t help you stay gone , but what I can tell you is I wish I had. I let him have contact with his son and somehow I ended up back. Things were great for a couple of months. Then back to the abuse and lies and when call him out it’s my fault and I get punished more. Currently been discarded. So just remember it might be different for a little while but unfortunately it’s all act 😔 I hope you heal xx
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So very very brave of you!!! You have taken such a brave & important step in creating a new abuse free life for you & your daughter. Change is always hard even if it is change for the better. Breaking longstanding old patterns is always an enormous challenge even if the old patterns were soul depleting. Leaving a loved one behind is always gut wrenching even if that loved one was a horribly abusive monster. All that to say, everything you are feeling and experiencing right now is normal. It’s normal to question if you’ve made the right decision, if things would be easier if you just went back, if you’re daughter will be ok. I want you to remember all the many reasons that made you leave in the first place. Write them down if you need to. When you feel like going back to him , reread them to yourself to remind yourself that you made the right decision for you and your daughter. Although you may not feel like it, you’re a strong, ferocious mamma and you can do this. 💜💜💜💜 And post here as often as you need to. We’ve got your back!
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Shazza!
This is brilliant, well done! Has made my day. Fantastic for you and your daughter
Sending love xx -
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Well done. You have done the most difficult thing. It hurts so bad first of all. It’s so so hard, so hold on tight. By leaving we are putting ourselves through very difficult feelings for the right reason. I do not know you, but I am very sure you are doing the right thing. It is amazing you are doing this for your daughter, I did the same for my two children. But also do it for yourself. Look after yourself also. Over time you will feel better I promise. Over time you will build confidence and the loss, hurt and sadness will slowly leave you. You will be instead filled with pride and confidence. Try to be kind to yourself. Speak to someone you know, or call your sanctuary. It is important to speak to someone who is regulated themselves and understands what you are going through. My children are so proud of me now. I am showing them a better way of live away from the abuse. This makes for a better pathway for the children. Yes it’s difficult for you and your daughter. But keep re evaluating what it would have been like if you had stayed. For you and for your daughter. I assure you, in the long run this is better. This is for the best. When you feel stronger and better you will feel born again.
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Thanks so much newstart2019.
Today i have felt a little stronger. He called to say goodnight to our girl and he had clearly been srinking. The amount of relief that i felt that i wasnt there with him was so noticeable.
I feel guilty when my daughter keeps asking why we had to leave, but im trying to hold on to the facts of why i left.
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Massive well done! Now your real life can begin but as others have said it’s going to be hard going for a while. I sat in my house earlier thinking I can’t wait to be out, but hate the silence, then realised we’ve lived on heightened alert for so long the silence feels somehow stronger. It’ll take time to adjust. Do something fun with your daughter and enjoy it guilt free x
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You should be feeling so proud of yourself what an amazing job your doing and role model you are to your daughter. I too left an abusive alcoholic so I know how hard it is , but please take each day as it comes , tell yourself you have done the right thing for yourself and your daughter and that you both have a brighter future in front of you . Stay strong as you are x
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How amazing that free feeling must be oh my you enjoy it sweetie as you deserve it.
As others have said I am sure its not going to be easy those naughty doubt feelinhs will creep in but you gotta be strong enough to push them out they way gag em 🤣 and stand firm, remember that dance party.
You are amazing time to work on you and give your daughter and yourself the best life ever.
A huge huge well done and hugs xxxxx
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