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    • #144428
      Timetobehappy
      Participant

      Hi I’m new here I’ve been reading posts for a long time for courage.I left him (detail removed by moderator) I’m currently at my (detail removed by moderator) but there’s no room I lost my job and my home (detail removed by moderator) because of his behaviour I can’t afford to fight for the house we were joint tenants and honestly I don’t want to be anywhere near him or his family, my ex and his father have issues with alcoholism along with the domestic abuse and violence I received from my ex. Everything has just happened so quickly I was planning on moving out till I had a job and saved to support myself now I feel like I’ve lost everything and I don’t know where to start. I left him once before and he sucked me back in I’m terrified he will do it again and with me having nothing I will be weak. I just want to rebuild and be happy alone but it feels impossible in this moment. Thank you for listening

    • #144433
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hello Timetobehappy,

      Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I’m glad to hear that you have found courage in reading forum posts, it sounds like you have been through so much and have done amazingly well to escape that abusive situation.

      The fear of going back is understandable, abusers can be incredibly manipulative and controlling and it is so hard to break away for good. I can hear how difficult the idea of doing so feels right now.

      I hope you find it helpful to share your situation, I’m sure other users will be able to offer support and advice too.

      Take care and do keep posting, to let us know how you’re getting on.

      Lisa

    • #144434
      Hereforhelp
      Participant

      Hi timetobehappy (great name 😊) welcome, this is an amazing forum.

      It’s so good that you are aware that he may well try to hoover you back in.. it’s what they all do and as you are vulnerable he may well start. Have you got support through womans aid? Your local WA can help. The freedom programme is great for building strength, confidence and knowledge to help us stay away and not get sucked in.

      I am so sorry that you lost so much, it is so unfair it really is. Be mind to yourself, you have left and that’s amazing, now comes some new feelings which you may need support with as it can feel like addiction when you separate as in you can crave them (that’s the cycle of abuse, worth a google).

      Keep posting ❤️ I am sure some other members will offer more help … stay strong x

    • #144441
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Timetobehappy look at what you’ve gained you’ve got out you’ve got away from your abuser and the abuse, you’ve regained your freedom you’ve no more put downs, fear, manipulations or control some people can take decades to leave, some never do and you did! Thats not to say it’s easy and like all of us your gonna be left with traumas but you still did it, you can rebuild and you can be happy alone you just have to dig deep and find inner strength reconnecting with you again 🕊💗🥂

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