I left, I feel so horribly guilty

[disorganised]

(Detail removed by Moderator) ago I left with my daughter with the help of my support worker. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I feel horrible because I did it behind his back. I tried to leave several times before by talking to him but he never let me. He said I can leave but our daughter is staying with him and he said he will take her abroad. So there was no other way but to leave without him knowing. Why do I feel so guilty then? I don’t know if I am strong enough to do this. I feel like crying all the time and every time my daughter asks where he is I nearly break down. I want her to see him but due to the specifics of our situation it will probably be a few weeks before this can happen. This makes me feel so incredibly guilty, the pain is almost unbearable. I blocked him everywhere and I am not reading/responding to anything he sends. But I still feel so sad for him and at the same time scared because I know how angry he is right now. He is accusing me of abducting our child. I am questioning whether I did the right thing and whether things were really that bad. Maybe I was really the problem. Will it ever get easier?

[KindnessIsntAWeakness]

Short answer – yes. Yes it will get easier. Yes you are strong enough. Yes you have done the right thing ❤️ For you AND your daughter. And no – you are NOT and never were the problem.

It’s the cruelest thing – to feel guilt when deep down we know that we’ve done the right thing. It’s so unfair to be put through so much pain already, only to finally be doing the right thing and then to still feel pain. Even more pain than before.

BUT you must keep reminding yourself that you are doing the right thing. You left for a reason. And you left in the way you did for a reason. No one has the right to stop another person leaving a relationship. You didn’t have a choice to do it any other way because he didn’t let or allow you.

Seriously – you should be so, so proud of yourself for taking that first step. It’s the most horrible one. And it’s not going to be easy for a while – but slowly, you will start to feel better. You will feel that little bit stronger every day. And you will eventually start to realise what you deserve – which is NOT a man that abuses you! Trust your gut, it always does the right thing by you ❤️ The head and heart fight will carry on for a while (speaking from experience – it’s something I struggled with a lot after leaving). But it doesn’t last forever.

What an incredible role model you are for your daughter. She, like you, deserves to be happy, and to know what a healthy and loving relationship is.

You will get there lovely. One step at a time ❤️❤️ You’ve b****y got this! Stay strong – you will get there x

[disorganised]

Thank you so much for your kind reply. I really needed to hear this as I’ve been struggling so much today. It is so good to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel from someone who’s been there. I will try to take it one step at a time and think of my daughter – I really don’t want her to think this is how a normal relationship looks like. Despite not feeling great today I had a lovely afternoon with her. I was able to play with her without him looking over my shoulder and telling me that I’m talking or playing with her the wrong way. I still fear that he will find out we are doing things he would never allow (we ate breakfast for dinner today) and I really hope I can get back my confidence as her mum.
Thank you again for helping me get through today ❤

[KindnessIsntAWeakness]

❤️❤️ breakfast for dinner is the best! Hold onto those moments of joy because they are what will make you stronger. I still sometimes catch myself doing something I know I wouldn’t have been ‘allowed’ to do before and it’s like, such a relief and feeling of freedom!

You will get there. Your confidence will come back. And there will be so many more amazing moments with your beautiful daughter. Remember these happy times when you’re having low moments or days – the bad times will eventually become less and less. And more power to you!

So glad I could be of some support ❤️❤️ I hope your day has been better today, remember we’re all here for you whenever you need us! x

[disorganised]

I am really looking forward to better times. Thank you! ❤❤❤

[hotairballoon]

Stay strong. You’re not alone. You can do it and you’re stronger than you know.

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