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I lost my job. Performance is badly affected because of the abuse. Again another thing to deal with I have 3 months full pay and we left on good terms. Just the shock of it all. Going go see my GO today to up my anti depressants, see if they can make a mental health referral, put me on the list for emergency CBT counselling and I’m starting the freedom programme this week. I feel drained and sick of this all it’s still affecting my life and I’m sick of feeling so low all the time. Please tell me there will be a day where all this stops.
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So sorry to hear this. Yes there comes a day when it all makes sense. Meantime it’s a horrible roller coaster ride when you need to not put extra pressure on yourself. My headspace shrank to next to nothing. It was all I could do to put the bin out and wash a dish. Couldn’t get past a chapter in a book. My concentration was all but gone. Still don’t know how I managed to get through Court. Just be very kind and gentle meantime if you have to work try for something that isn’t taxing or stressful. I heard of a highly trained cardiac nurse who retured to work as a cleaner at the same hospital until her headspace opened again so baby steps x
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Hi KIP thanks for your message and for always being there. I have an interview next week in a different area that I have experience in and it’s with a firm I walked for before. They have always said they want me back. It’s an opportunity I didn’t take a few years back and it’s strange how the same role has now come up again. I have given my everything to my ex, to the area I was working in and they both haven’t worked for me. I’m learning that sometimes it’s ok to accept that something just isn’t meant to be. This area is a lot less stressful, is more interesting and more suited to my personality. I also get on very well with the head of department too. I am not applying for any other jobs in the mean time I’m having a rest. It’s hard to do this though as my brain is always ticking I can’t stop. I also visited the GP today and I have upped the dose for my anti depressants. I’ve also considered CBT and doing the freedom programme. I’m seeing a personal trainer this week as I have a lot of anger inside because of this. I have spotted when my mood goes down and it’s in the mornings so I need to go for a walk every morning to clearly head. I am trying to be positive about everything and I wont let this all beat me. Private counselling for the abuse was too intense and I will revisit it but I think I need to manage my thinking patterns first. This next week or so will give me the opportunity to go to the gym to exercise, socialise and also do yoga. I’ve also arranged to see a friend I’ve been avoiding. Depression is an awful thing you don’t have the strength to do anything or see anyone and that makes you feel worse. One massive stressor is out of my life now….a very full on role at work and I do feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is my time now to get myself recharged, positive, focused and I want to find some peace within myself. X
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Well done Positive for recognising your limitations. When one door closes often another one we didn’t expect opens. Remember to always put yourself first and move along slowly. You’re doing really well. You have to be in the right place to do counselling as it opens old wounds and you have to be strong and have support to deal with them x
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