- This topic has 5 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Hi all 😊. I can honestly say I’m feeling more content in happier in myself. I am investing in my health, beauty, my mental wellbeing by doing things I enjoy. I stick to a healthy diet and I treat myself when I want to, I exercise regularly, I do yoga, I get my nails done regularly, I put an effort into my appearance, I wear nice clothes to work, I can hold down a career. These are all things that are important to me everything that abuse nearly destroyed. I have a great group of friends, a supportive family and I able to see them because it’s my decision no one has the right to take me away from them or anyone I love. I also went on holiday earlier this year, I have a second holiday booked, I have paid my wedding debt off, next on my list is my car and then….
I AM BUYING A HOUSE!!!!!! I’ve not decided whether it’s a flat to live in or a house to do up, sell, make a profit and repeat. These are my dreams and my way of building MY future! I’ve took one step in front of another, battled through a divorce, faced my community and it’s made a strong princess into a strong queen! I am really doing what makes me happy and all the things he was jealous of and couldn’t stand. I am really living my dreams and slowly but surely sorting my life out. I cannot rely on a man for anything, definitely not to provide for me I provide for MYSELF! My heart is healing slowly I wake up no longer feeling trapped, being gaslighted, never having a penny to my name, extremely anxious, confused. I wake up looking forward to the day ahead of me and that’s what’s got me to this stage. Never give up you too can get out and live a fulfilling, meaningful life xxxx
-
What a positive and inspirational post. I am going through the discomfort of “No Contact” in the hope that I can take better care of myself and build a happier and more peaceful life for myself in the future. I have come along way since my first abusive husband left me penniless with the kids and ran off with another woman. I got a degree, got a new job- my life is unrecognisable from (detail removed by Moderator) ago. I sadly met a second man (detail removed by Moderator) after my separation and he was worse in many ways than my first husband- but I have left him because of the way he treated me which is a first because I have not stood up for myself like this before. I have the career now,a settled home, independence and happy children- I need to shed this final but of emotional baggage by continuing no contact no matter how hard it seems and then I will hopefully reach a place of strength and peace- the place you describe in your post X
-
Thank you 😊. I think no contact has saved me! I reality wanted to give him a piece of my mind but I realised that my silence will kill him even more! I’m a very direct person and I have walked away, changed my number and made an appointment with a Solicitor as soon as I could.
That’s my way of giving my piece of mind because they love you getting angry, upset, showing emotion so all you’re doing is giving them more fuel and you’re also inviting them back into your life to manipulate you, suck the life out of you and by telling them exactly what you think of them is actually starting the cycle of abuse again! It’s not the best move to get away and also will damage your mental health.
During the time of no contact I took each day as it came and I focused on my recovery. I still have a long way to go but I’m in such a better place than I was last year and I’m showing all his family and friends that he’s nothing, I’m everything and I’m happier without him 😊 That is the best revenge! I’ve been the bigger person and actually threatened what he views as his ‘superior existence’ by ignoring his pathetic email about how he doesn’t hate me and looks back at our marriage with fond memories lol actually made me laugh because I couldn’t give two s***s if I see him again and whether or not he makes it awkward because he’s NOTHING to me and how I react is no longer in his control it’s all in MY control.
I’m so glad you have left them and you’ve built your life especially with children and having to start from scratch. You should be very proud of yourself! Take this time to think about yourself and think about red flags. There are a lot of abuse books out there which will help you and take the freedom programme it is really helpful. I find you inspiring going out and getting a degree, a new career through all of that whilst having to look after your children. You should be very proud of yourself because abuse rips you apart and takes every bit of self confidence and self belief you go have which isn’t very much after you’ve been entangled with such psychopaths!
I love the fact I left him, divorced him I find it funny lol he really underestimated me and I’ve just left another black mark on his very bad record lol hopefully with any luck he will put himself back into prison. Never ever should these vile creatures underestimate us we are far stronger, intelligent than they think! They will never win ever xxxx
-
Ah yes both of mine had been in prison. I think my second abuser will no doubt be going back at some point as he just does what he wants when he has the impulse with no thought for the consequences.
Yes getting a degree and a job was such a victory over my first husband- in fact over both of them. He is unemployed now. My second abuser lost it on the day I had my interview – he was hard work throughout my studies and looking back I think he couldn’t stand to see me grow. He made my life hell- I have no idea ho I managed to look after the kids and study whilst walking on egg shells. He came to my house and attacked me (detail removed by Moderator) after the interview. He went to jail (detail removed by Moderator) for a separate offence and I started working when he was in prison and by the time he was released the job had given me the self confidence to call it a day with him.
My first husband wouldn’t let me work- now I have a meaningful and worthwhile job where I can make a huge difference to people’s lives.
It’s been such a slog- I am just going To keep going xx -
They are not worthy of being called men!! I was having a tough time at work and instead of supporting me in finding a new job he told me to leave it without having another job to go to! I had just got married, been diagnosed with depression and the contact with my parents had been cut and I felt so alone so I did what he said! I thought as my husband he had my best interests at heart but I couldn’t have been wrong.
It was the first gap I had on my CV ever and I’ve spent years paying for that mistake, been made redundant several times, travelled across several counties for jobs and now finally I have found a job much closer to home in a better company. He would call me lazy for not working and when I did he couldn’t stand it because he meant I wasn’t reliant on him (I never did ask him for a penny) and he would cause so many problems for me at home when I did start a new job because strong women scare WEAK MEN!!!! They know that a career gives us options he helps us get out. Ironically he works for the worst company in his sector lol no reflection on him of course 😂.
Isn’t it astonishing how my mood swings have duseappeared since I’ve moved back with my parents? He was literally the cause of ALL my problems best thing I did do was ditch him! It brings me great pleasure saying I left him 😂. See what goes around comes around don’t you find it funny they’re unemployed? I call that Karma 😁. What a vile evil person attacking you like that! (detail removed by Moderator) That’s amazing that you have a job that is more than just that. It has been tough but the rewards are sooooo worth it. You are telling your children that abuse is not acceptable you should be proud of yourself it isn’t easy to stand up when you feel no one will believe you and they make you think it’s your fault.
I VOW TO NEVER GO NEAR(detail removed by Moderator) AGAIN 😂😂😂 x*x
-
Fantastic post and you should be feeling so proud of all you have achieved.
I especially like the bit in your post about no contact that’s my downfall at the moment and your comments make me feel positive I can and will do it I want to be happy like you are so thank you for sharing and spurring me on
Fsc xx
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
