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    • #168135

      Thinking about what to do so that your adult son does not attack you.What did I do wrong?Where did that son who both gave everything for me break? I have lived for your happiness, why do you attack me? These are all the questions I ask myself… today I’m having a coffee near my house, I’m afraid to get there and beg for a change again.He attacked me twice in (removed by moderator). The first one, I didn’t report him thinking about his future. The second one has been waiting for the court (removed by moderator). I have not spoken to anyone about his last prayer out of sadness that they will reject it.But I have realized that it is like a mad dog that everyone who approaches bites it.How to help you if you don’t want to? How can you help me if I feel like a bad mother? I can say that I have gone to the police, Boro, NHS, the ambulance has come to my house and he continues to treat me badly verbally. And if tomorrow I call the police, they take him away, what will his life be like? Love hurts in different parts of the body and how difficult it is to keep it out of my life.

    • #168137
      Main Moderator

      Hi Surrendered,

      First , welcome to the forum. It seems you have just started posting here, so I hope you find this a safe and supportive place to share your experiences.

      I want to also express that I’m sorry to hear of your difficult situation with your adult son. It is so hard to know what the right thing to do is when the abuser is your child. Unfortunately, it is not unusual to hear about abusive behaviour from an adult child towards their parents and or adult siblings. Any familial abuse can have very complicated layers of guilt and shame and you can feel trapped due to a sense of duty or responsibility to your abusive child.

      Please know ultimately, you have a right to live a life free from abuse and take action as you need to be safe and well. Your son’s behaviour is unfortunately by choice, and he needs to take responsibility for the detrimental affects of his actions.

      That doesn’t take away from how distressing this all is for you, so it may be helpful for you to engage with your local domestic abuse service. They can offer both on-going emotional and practical help if needed. Let them know all that has been happening and they can go over all your options with you so you can make some important decisions.

      Do keep posting to let us know how you are. You are not alone and I’m sure there are many women here who can relate to what you are going through.

      Take care,


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