Viewing 4 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #8301
      Starmoon
      Participant

      Everyone seems to think I should be glad he’s gone but I’m not. Yes he physically hurt me (not badly) but I accepted this.
      In my opinion things were ok as long as I’d talked things down and assured him that I saw things from his point of view and then he wasn’t leaving me like he used to.
      But this last time he’s gone and he’s gone for good. I lost my way in the last argument and instead of placate him I argued my side… My side was silly- why was I so determined to make a point instead of seeing where he was coming from. Why couldn’t I just drop it. He wouldn’t have got so wound up if I hadn’t and he’d still be here with us. Since he’s gone he’s not replied to any emails other than initially to tell me it was all my fault for not understanding him- but I tried. He blocked my number and on whatsapp but now I see he’s unblocked me. I can see he’s on line and I so desperately want to message him. To tell him about our baby…. Just to be how things used to be.
      I’m sat here so jealous wondering who he’s talking to so often on whatsapp because it only ever used to be me. I got things so so wrong with him in the past but this time I didn’t. I tried so hard to always understand him this time and I thought that I was. I didn’t think I was getting things wrong any more

    • #8307
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      You may not think so now but there will be a time you’re glad he’s gone. He doesn’t care about you or respect you. He has managed to convince you that it is your responsibility to keep him for lack of a better word calm and trust me it is not.
      Him blocking and unblocking you is a classic tactic used to make you want to contact him. Please try and stay strong. None of this is hit fault.

      My advice to you would be to get in touch with your local women’s aid and/or access the helpline for some support and advice. This guy has really gotten into your head (they are experts at it) but it’s time you started listening to you. You should also read “living with the dominator” and see if there’s a freedom programme in your area. Best of luck x

    • #8310
      Nor82
      Participant

      Feeling confused, thought in was doing so well until my ex decided to message a mutual friend of ours last night with a message for me! Unfourtunatley she doesn’t know what’s gone on between us and how bad things got. Basically I’m now getting all the sorry and I love you etc, etc, his even saying his having suicidal thoughts! I wish I never read this message I feel like its taken me back to square one and my emotions are everywhere, he knows his not allowed to contact me and I’ve blocked his number on every device so there is no other way he can contact me. Part of me feels sorry for him, and the other part of me is pleased that his so distressed after what he did to me and my children is this normal what I’m feeling, I would never in a million years go back I just wish he would leave me alone if he loved me that much he would never have done this in the first place. His also stated that I should swallow my pride and take some blame as it wasn’t all his fault that comment alone reminded me of how things were is it my fault his making me question my own judgement x

    • #8318
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      Meant none of this is your fault not hit fault. Stupid phone

    • #13843
      betterdays
      Participant

      I miss mine but he used to also say we both need to change and I won’t admit my part it’s all mind games to nackered u up trust me!!! I’ve been no contact now for 9 days I’m having ups and downs but I suppose id rather go cold turkey and get through because every time u contact it’s another opportunity for them to bring u back to square one. I feel like giving him such a rocketing but it will do me no good it’s nothing I haven’t been saying for years chapter and verse there evil know exactly what there doing stay clear!!!!! X

Viewing 4 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs

EXIT SITE

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account