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    • #134097
      Oceanastar
      Participant

      I am just not sure what to do anymore.
      I have left the family home, it took me some time and some failed attempts but i am out with only the clothes on mine and my daughters back.
      I have tried repeatedly to sort the tenancy to which it is joint, through text messages as I just cant do it face to face I have left the home for a reason. I have said i will come off the tenancy even to just break free of him. but he wont. Hes saying he loves me and wants me back, i cant go back, i dont want to go back, his behaviour scares the hell out of me, make me anxious and isnt normal.
      I have been to the council who have told me i am liable for the rent if he doesnt pay.He has now lost his job, but his mother is paying the bills, which is trapping me further, but i dont know how long that will last. I am surfing family and friends homes so my daughter and me are safe however i am homeless with a (detail removed by moderator) year old, but liable!
      The council have told me they do not get involved in domestic abuse cases but have referred me to a local DV however they havent provided me details and i have not heard anything, this is months now.
      I am in a situation where im still struggling if this has been abuse, i believe it has and I really need someone to tell me what to do. I dont want to make the situation worse and what if i am wrong and it what if it wasnt abuse, it was just his cocaine addiction or the damage caused by it. What if they dont even believe me!
      I just want to break free from him. I know about occupation orders and non molestation orders but i want the backing of someone incase i am wrong, i dont think i am wrong but i am scared there is a chance.
      I just want to house my daughter in a safe loving home that she deserves and he wont allow me to.

      I am so stressed out, i cant think straight

      Any advice? What do i do? xx

    • #134109
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      It’s a joint tenancy? Pretty sure you can give notice without needing his permission. Until your name is off the tenancy then you will be liable for the rent. If you haven’t already, get in touch with womansaid, it sounds like you deserve some help!

    • #134113
      Eggshells
      Participant

      I’m pretty sure that Bananaboat is right. Your Local Authority don’t have the choice of not getting involved.

      Under part VII of the 1996 Housing act, they have to rehome as you are made unintentionally homeless due to domestic violence. Domestic violence includes psychological, emotional and financial abuse.

      I’ll pm you with a link to a “Rights for Women” article.

      Definitely call your local dv charity. You can do a search to find them using this link https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

      Someone recently wrote to their MP about how they were treated by the police. If you have the energy, it could be worth writing to your local MP about the appalling response you’ve had ftom your local council.

      I’ll pm you the link from Rights for Women. Please read it, it’s gold dust and your local council might just pull their socks up if you start quoting part VII of the 1996 Housing act, the 2002 Homelessness Act and the 2006 Homelessness Code of Guidance. When you know your rights and they know you know your rights, it can give them the nudge they need. xx

    • #134118
      Eggshells
      Participant

      If you’re doubting abuse please have a look at your previous posts. These links might also be helpful https://www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/am-i-in-an-abusive-relationship/

      What is domestic abuse?

      and if you’re still unsure then reading “Living with the Dominator” was pretty definitive for me.

      You have done the right thing leaving and things will settle. In the meantime, take any support you can and remember the forum is a safe place where everyone really understands. Your not alone. Sending hugs. xx

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