I need help and support

[Falling Skys]

Hi

My mother is in intensive care, improving slowly but may have to have an op that she may not survive.

My ex has now agreed to sale me the house, but is now boxing up everything without me looking. The police say its a civil matter and if I felt that anything was mine to open the boxes. After much deliberation I decided to look.

As I was trying to open the first box with a knife. My son denied me access, so I went to another box he said if I continue he would ring the police and say I had threatened him. I told him not to be so stupid, and continued.

Well Ladies you know what happened, blues and twos, the police office that came advised me not to open anymore boxes and not to use a knife as it left me open to allegations. In fact they just don’t want to be involved with it they just want me to let him take it all.

As yet there is no date from him leaving, and I’m tired of fighting.

[iwillbeok]

Big hug and lots of support for you Falling Skies. This must be so awful. I can’t imagine. I finally sent the stuff of his packing via a third party. Anything else he wants he’ll have to ask for in the divorce.

It feels so much better to have him and his clutter gone. I hope this all gets resolved for you soon and you can get some peace.

Stay strong x

[Falling Skys]

Thank you IWBO

It feels so near but yet so far.

FS

[KIP.]

Hey there. If there is a moving out date then i would live elsewhere until then. Take what you need maybe to your mums house and wait it out. My ex lied about everything, including moving out. Unless he has signed a legal document telling you when he is moving out I wouldnt believe a word he says. And if he is definately moving out then expect him to make your life even more terrible until he does. Im afraid that includes your sons behaviour which he has learned from his father. Ive been following your posts and i truely dont believe he is going anywhere. Why would he? He has his victim right where he wants her and feeds off her fesr.

[Falling Skys]

Hi KIP

As yet I have no date but I am pushing it. I know that he has had searches for a property so it’s all promising. As he wouldn’t spend money for nothing.

I think your idea about going to my mum’s for a while is a good one even if I only went there part time.

I have desided that he can take what ever he does as he’s using it as a stick to beat me with.

So true as its coming to an end it will become worse.

Mum is being transferred tomorrow for more tests and if needs be an operation.

FS

[Pondlife]

So hard that you are going through this when your mum is ill. It’s a horrible and familiar feeling when it seems your whole world is in chaos or despair. Like the cogs that keep you going can’t turn

You are doing amazingly well to stay so positive and focused. Well done and lots of hugs x*x

[Confused123]

Hey hUn

Sorry to hear about your mum, on positive lets hope the t**t is selling the house, u never can trust them till deal is final, in mean time i k now u r tired anyway, just throw all your main stuff in black bags and take to your mums house. This is exactly what he wants a reaction , to cause another scence, leave bare minium at your house so u can notice if he has taken anything, these idiots will take stuff deblietery to annoy u, my extended family did the same, the things can be replaced, just keep your documents safe, u got this far, lets hope and pray for a speedy sale , try and keep out of their way, both of them are bullies

[Falling Skys]

Thank you PL and Con123

Mum is being transferred to another hospital, she is inspirational making jokes 🙂

Though I have everything in the house as part of my settlement, I am not going to stop him. Its just not worth it and I would want to replace anyway. He’s just a sad old man. I am looking at it as him de cluttering me. (though I could do without the expense)

I will try to stay calm and show no emotion as they are trying to pull my strings.

FS xx

[KIP.]

You can replace the stuff with furniture from charity shops to get you started. I think he is doing you a favour by taking it off your hands. New start. Expect light bulbs etc to go to. Pathetic little man.

[Falling Skys]

KIP your so right I will enjoy looking for a bargain or two.

Also good news they have operated on Mum and she is doing well 🙂

FSxx

[Ayanna]

I hope your mum gets better, Falling Skies.
What if you wait until nobody is in the house and then you search the boxes and close them back again?

[Confused123]

Hi Lovely

Brill news about your mum improving , let him keep it , u will find newer better things in charity shops, try and continue with no reaction and use this time to stay with your mum to help her recover xx

[KIP.]

Hey, good news about your mum. It will do you good to spend time with her away from the dysfunction of home. It’s dangerous for you there. I got old pine bedroom furniture and sanded down the drawers. Got cupboard paint and painted the drawer/door fronts and top in a lovely soft cream colour and they look great. They should do. My idiot ex tried to say our furniture was worth £5k. The youngest piece was 12 years old! Idiot. I told him he could give me £2.5k and help himself. Never happened. Ha. Onwards and upwards. My ex would not be happy if I spent time with my elderly parents looking after them. That was one of the main reasons I knew we were finished. He totally resented me helping them out and made his feelings known. Pathetic. Resented helping his own elderly parents too. Something about perceived weakness or illness he just had no patience for x

[Falling Skys]

Hi ladies

Been so busy not been on line, as soon as she got to the hospital she was tested and operated on. Still can’t believe the turn around, she improved so quickly she have been aloud out of hospital and is staying with a relative. From a very small hope to having my mum back, I was so worried she wouldn’t see me free.

I spent yesterday with Mum and walking today. After last weekend I just wanted stay away from the house.

Though the police said not to box more things up I can see more things missing, and handles have been pulled off units that are built in.

Still no end date, till I read your replies I felt like pulling out of the sale, but now I will just keep plodding.

FS xx

[KIP.]

Great news about your mum. Expect things to escalate at home. Expect vandalism and petty nonsense. That’s why it would be better if you took what you want to keep to your mums house. Take photos of the damage and keep it in a journal. It’s going to get worse. Can you move into your mums home meantime?

[Serenity]

So glad your mum has improved, FS.

You’re inching closer to freedom every day, though it might not always seem like it.

One day you feel be away from his daily toxicity and you won’t know yourself.

I agree with the other ladies, you can buy amazing things cheaply and upcycle them. They will be your own creations and have nothing to do with him.

These abusers are so pathetic using furniture and possessions as a weapon. My ex was so mean, he bought virtually nothing for the house over the years. I had to buy everything while he hid his money. Yet when he left, he felt entitled to demand that he take furniture-meaning I would have to buy it all over again, while he still hid his money. They are just sick. They are petty and without morals.

One day, you’ll be able to fill your own space with whatever you want.

[Falling Skys]

Thank you ladies xx I have written again asking for a date for him to leave. I said that I need it as he is damaging or stealing things. And that if it dosent get sorted soon I am at the point of pulling out. I wish now I hadn’t said it but I’m getting so frustrated but the situation.

I will look into moving in with mum as soon as she’s back at home x

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