I need him to move out but how??

[I.dont.know.]

I’ve been trying for months to make an escape plan and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to get out my only options is private renting but unfortunately I keep getting rejected due to my self employment! (Detail removed by moderator).

I know it’s advised for my safety not to tell him I don’t want to be with him but what is the worse he could do?? Yeah he may get physical but I’m sure I could cope with a few bruises if it means I can get the house ?? I know it sounds stupid but I almost want to make him arguy so that he physically hurts me and then I would feel that ringing the police would be justified!!

[maddog]

You should not be living in fear. I found the private rental options very hard because of pets.

I had no choice but to involve the police as my ex had me arrested for something that didn’t happen and they all told me to make a statement. They also said to phone if I felt afraid. He is still trying to control me although he has finally moved out.

Please speak to the police. We underestimate how dangerous these people are. It’s a bit of an eye opener.

[Poodlepower]

Telling him you don’t want to be with him may not result in him just agreeing to separate. I tried many times to tell my partner I wanted to aerostats but he just refused , became abusive or just told me I was wrong. I’m afraid tot just can’t expect reasonable behaviour from these men.
My partner was assaulting me whenever I tried to go somewhere he didn’t want me to be, like in another room away from him. I told him time and time again that it was assault, a criminal act and if it didn’t stop d report him to the police. He actually laughed at that, told me I’d Beverly do that to him.
He was adamant that he had a right to be in my home. He paid no rent and didn’t have his name on the rent agreement. My landlord didn’t even know he was there.
I finally did go to the police and he was arrested. Even then, they had to persuade him that he had. I right to return to my home and made it a bail condition that he didn’t try to get back in my house.
What I’m saying is, it’s really hard to get these men to move out. You may need the police to help you.
Stay safe x*x

[KIP.]

Do you have evidence of his abuse that you could get an occupation order? You can ring Rights for Women for free legal,advice. I recorded my ex assaulting me. Obviously I didn’t think it would go that far. Just like you I underestimated him and I’m lucky I didn’t record my own death. But you could collect any threatening texts or emails. You have to emphasise that you feel threatened and in danger living with him. Coercive control is a crime now so anything you can use. Any witnesses that can give a statement to the lawyer. I know how you feel. I wanted to stay in my home and looking back I was trauma bonded to my house. That’s where I ran back to when I had panic attacks. That’s where I felt safe yet there was nothing safe about that house. It was just bricks and mortar. Maybe a larger deposit for private renting but the council have an obligation tomrehome victims of domestic abuse so I would speak to the council vulnerable persons dept x

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