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Hi A-HAfan,
Firstly welcome to this forum I hope you find it a safe place to post and ask questions or just let out how you feel, the ladies on here are great.
As I read your post my first thoughts was what a …….. your ex father in law is and dont let them drive you out from where you now live. However I dont know your situation so I feel it would be wrong of me to make a decision on whats best for you. if you fear anything phone the police or the helpline for some advice as they will know best.
Keep posting and we will do our best to support you,
Stay safe
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Hi I know that I should stay here but I
Know just how dangerous he can be I had not seen him for years and then my ex mother in law got cancer and we went to say goodbye and since than his family want us to get back together I said no in a way that said I meant it but it looks like that they will not take no for an answer -
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Oh no thats awful and to use a situation like cancer to pull you back in. Then if he is dangerous think very carefully about what to do next but log everything that happens even if you get it logged with the police. I think the best for you would be to phone the helpline to get the best advice especially if he is dangerous.
Love of love and stay safe
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Hi A-HAfan,
Welcome to the forum! I am so pleased to see that you have got some lovely support here already. I just wanted to send you a little one to say that you know your Ex and what he is capable of better than anyone so listen to your gut. If your gut is telling you that you are not safe then please do phone the helpline and even the Police on 101 to talk about your options for safety planning. I know it is really frustrating to leave your home but if you are not feeling safe then it is better to go somewhere else and feel secure.
We are all here for you.
Best wishes,
Lisa
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Hi I had a text message from my ex sister in law today when I told her that I was worried about him she told me that he is so over me now and not to worry so if he is so over me then why are the family trying to get me back with him? He wants to get to know his children. As my one said to little to late
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Hi I have now changed my phone number
I am also learning to drive I have even
Booked my theory test and I have you all
To thank for making me feel like that I
Am not on my own which for many years I
Did, when you go through something like this
Even though you have your family to help
I don’t think that they understand no matter
What they say only someone who has been
There truly knows -
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Hi, I’m new here
It’s been (removed by moderator) since I’ve left my abusive ex Partner,I’m going through so many different emotions and I’m sad to say the worst thing I can’t get my head around is how charming he was and how I really thought he loved me we was going to get married and was trying for a baby.sounds crazy now he manipulated me in every sense and was a compulsive lier I should have left sooner but I never thought in a million years he would threaten me and my children they were not his, and now we are apart I can see it so clear he was jealous of my children he would pick on them to get to me. I told him my children would always come first I guess that made him mad inside too! I knew he had a temper but nothing like I’ve ever seen when he finally showed his true colours when I told him the relationship was over. He told me it was my fault as during the relationship he would tell me you don’t know what I am really like and he was right I didn’t! So in should have left him sooner and now I’ve got to shut up and put up in other words. Even after everything he put me and my children through I still sit here and miss him its not normal surely I should hate him! I wish I could but I’m not made that way which is how men take advantage this is my second dv relationship in ten years I put up with it for 4 yrs the first time and that was physical. I thought I would spot the signs but this one was soo different he would have moved the earth for me its mental how he tricked me and my friends and family into believing he was the best man anyone could have met!. The sad thing is I know deep down he wanted to be that man but something wouldn’t let him or he was scared to let go or get too close I’m not making excuses I think he is vile for what he has done and I also know he has no remorse I’ve had to get an injunction on him to protect me and my children. I just feel numb and confused to how I’m back here again reliving this nightmare x
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Hey Hun
It was never u , let the feelings out , my screen is keep freezing so will keep short , we’ll done for getting out , think we get so used to abuse even when we walk away we can’t work out what we missing. Your have to wean yourself of him , it does get better , just keep posting on here . Again it’s just a game they played with us , my ex used to say same u will never understand me, he was right, why I was so desperate for him to live and accept me , relationship can’t work with one person Mali g effort , just be glad u never had kids with him
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Hey Hun
Hope u feeling better this morning, post as much as u can , its good to talk it out with surviviors of abuse, next few months will be like a rollcoaster of emotions, we all ask ourselves how did we fall for this kind of guy,how could we of been so blind, bu these men r clever, they manuiplate us , we actually become addictied to them like a drug,it shorrible they treat us like c**p but we still want them, i think its how our body adapts to them , the abuse becomes a norm we receive it so much that it becomes tolerable even thought it hurts, please do stay away from him, remember why u walk out when u miss him, remember how he hurt u , or whatever the worst thing was that made u think thats enough, thats the only way to keep away, they dont change, think of yourself and your kids . They get everyone to think they r me perfect and behind closed doors r animals, read the book why does he do that by lundy bancroft, will open your eyes and u realize that these men r masters at this game , u was never to know, u just got caught out like the rest of us on here. try and do counselling, it helps so much and please tell me u r doing no contact, it makes u so much stronger
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Hi Nor82,
Well done for being brave enough to post, and also for recognising what is happening and getting out. It is extremely distressing once the vail has truly fallen and you can see your partner for who he is and what he is doing, especially so when it has been aimed at your children. But it’s really positive that you have left and are taking the necessary steps to protect yourself and your children.
Please keep posting when you need to. The women on this forum are very supportive and understand what you are going through. You don’t need to go through this alone.
Best wishes
Lisa
Forum Moderator
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Thank you soo much for your kind words, I’m not having any contact with him I’ve blocked him on every device and social media, I’ve got court in the morning feeling really nervous I hope his not there. Because of the injunction he can’t come to my property but he wants to get his belongings so his taking me to court to ask for permission if he can come to my house with police to get his things! I’m not sure how this works but I’m so scared of him I can’t bare the thought of seeing or even hearing his voice he makes me feel physicslly sick and my body starts shaking if I think he was coming near me. So it’s a no from me I hope the judge will symphaise with me, I font care who gets he stuff believe me I want it gone just not him I’m not ready or strong enough to deal with him being that close to me. Brings it all back, unfourtunrtly I saw him on Sat I was out shopping and so was he, he walked past and laughed at me how low is that he thinks its funny properly put a smile on his face when he read my ten page statement that he scared me soo much I hate the fact that he knows this too. Thanks again for your advise stay strong ladies xx
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