I need some support and help

[Faith]

Hi,

I am now out a (detail removed by moderator) emotionaly and at times physicaly abusive relashonship. Ive gone through it all, the ex warning me, the loss of friends, breakdown of my family, lost business and forced to close a 2nd business I had opened….. I’ve been slapped pushed, thrown out on the street… my mind gave in and I’ve had several break downs, more recently my panic attacks have returned. I reported him to the police but did not press charges, scared as to what he may do. I’ve been to woman’s aid twice and each time I return and it’s (detail removed by moderator). He abused the girl before me, he abused his now dead wife and me, it’s discusting he is free to go on to abuse. I finally seen the light (detail removed by moderator) where he almost killed us both by driving like a crazy man, all over the road punching the window whilst calling me everything under the sun, then hit the brakes and told me to get out you -ow, -oot barrrage of abuse, in the middle of nowhere,I was broken once again, crying all because I had to work 4 hours on the coming Sat and hadn’t discussed with him prior !! I have never felt so broken and alone, no one to turn too… he eventually came back for me and wanted to talk, I didn’t…. I got in my car drove home and blocked him on everything…. Itried hard confineded in a friend who has been a great support since and got on with my life as best I could…. the problem now is we made a pack to meet every year on our first date date we meet up no matter what….. it took all I had not to go but I managed the strength not to go… he did. I had taken him off block on my phone and he text a X, I’ve never felt so bad but along with my friends support I did nothing…later that night on checking my email he had sent an email, which was in spam, pouring his heart out apologies for how bad he had been and wishes me well… this broke my heart and two weeks later I responded apologising for not letting him know I wouldn’t be there and for my inability to discuss things with him….this has now turned in to several text messages the last Fri night, appoligising for the delay in getting back to me he is at a golf day, I responded with a X and I’ve now heard nothing… I’m totally furious with myself but at the same time checking my phone 100 times…. he is doing it again and I’m so hurt with the situation I’ve created here. What is wrong with me ? He is doing the sweetness and light on me and it’s killing me. Please advise sorry for the very long post x*x

[KIP.]

Google trauma bonding. These men only want to get close enough again to slap us. By contacting him, you hand back the power to him. Try blocking him again. On everything. Have you considered reporting his abuse to the police? If all his exes made statements there may be a chance of prosecution. At least he would be on their radar. It might help his future victims. He wears a mask of niceness but that’s not the real him. He has shown you his true colours, believe him x

[Falling Skys]

Hi Faith

I agree with everything KIP has says, they are all such good actors plying us with the dream we want not the nightmare they give.

Block him again and heal you deserve so much more.

FS xx

[Faith]

Thank you all so very much…. I still haven’t heard a thing from him and on reading your replys he has slapped me in the face well and truly… how many more times. Today I feel stronger and a bit more clearer so I’m taking all your advice and I’m going to block him again, I won’t nothing more to do with him, any contact I have continually leaves me broken and depressed… I drank too much over the weekend and was ill yesterday making it all 100 times worse in my head.. I was going to text him prior to blocking, but he is no longer worth even that. His wife died (detail removed by moderator) years ago and I know he abused her, and I think that had a heavy hand in her ultimately shutting down and then on to (detail removed by moderator) he is a real head meser and her parents don’t even go near or speak to him.. I deserve respect and love and I’m starting yet again to give it to myself,I fell in love with a monster a man who didn’t even exist! Ill keep posting and helping if I can on here, I’m trying hard as we all are and it is hard as our brain swings back and forth between reality and the pantomime they create, thank u agin and hugs to you xxxx

[Confused123]

hun

block him on your phone and email. this man killed his ex , abused the ex b4 and abused u, what does that tell u, they cant change, they will say whatever we want to hear just to get us back, please do not fall for this trick, stay well away, let your friends and family know he is pulling u in again, u need support whilst u r vunerable, please do not go back to this guy, read your post and think if this happened to your friend would u tell her to go back, there are alarms flashing at u

[AssisiB]

Trauma bonding is a new term to me but I totally understand it. I know where you are coming from because I am exactly he same. Strong some days and weak the others. I feel I am slowly falling back into his trap. He’s being nice and I’m thinking “am I doing the right thing” x

[Bluerose]

Please stick with it block him, I have had all the verbal abuse,financial abuse, sexual and physical and controlling and I have done it for (detail removed by Moderator) years and (detail removed by Moderator) years in my first marriage don’t believe a word he says please together we can be strong I have been separated (detail removed by Moderator) months now but I know I have along way to go yet. Please take care xx

[Faith]

Hi thank you both thank you all for your support… The past few days its as if the light switch has gone on and I see him for what he really truly is, I didn’t before, I actually tried to help him and I felt sorry for him… but today and last night I just dont care about him at all, it’s a bit weird that some how I have eventually see him for who he is, I feel only sick that I allowed myself time after time to be sucked back in believing every lie, I truly believed him…. I pity him now.. I will never ever give him my time again ever… he actually had the barefaced cheek to say he would be there every year to come no matter what !!! What a complete pile of Bull-hit honestly I fear for his next new victim and I give it 2 months that’s his normal time scale, sick sick person through and through. Be strong to you all it’s the most difficult thing I’ve, you will ever experience in your my life time but the rewards are amazing it’s painful but that feeling of freedom wow , I you can do what ever, when ever you want. You are out of prison breath and feel that freedom… I will keep posting as I’m not that naive that tom is an other day and that something may hit me and down I will go but each time gets easier and it will fade in time, that is a definite positive thing for us all to look forward too. Xxxxx

[Author]

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