I need to ask a question to someone who is out and now in a healthy relationship

[Ariel]

I thought my partner lied to me about where he was so I me and my son drove round a certain place where I guessed he would be and his car was there, so he had lied.
My partner says that I’ve made the situation between him and my son a lot worse by getting him involved.
Basically my partner is saying that a couple should back each other even when they are in the wrong and not my son. (My son has had issues with him).
I don’t know if I should have pretended to my son that I was ok with my partners lieing rather than let him see me upset.
I never know what’s normal and what’s not in a relationship anymore.

[Ariel]

Ps my son is a young adult not a child.

[Bananaboat]

Read your post back to yourself – you should’ve lied to your son to please your partner?! No no no, ok we shouldn’t lean on our kids as emotional supports but that’s very different to lying to them. It sounds like your partner is gaslighting you or at least deflecting away from the fact he lied & you caught him out – now he’s making out you’re in the wrong? This isn’t the first red flag raised xx

[StrongLife]

Lying is never good in a relationship. I had ex lie over and over. This soon led to other things. It breaks trust in the relationship.

[Author]

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