I need to vent every day! Feel free not to read!

[anotherlife]

Gosh, I’m so sick of him! He’s back from a short trip away with work and it only takes a few days before he’s interrupting, monopolising, ignoring my conversation, snapping at me, telling me to get out of the way and then expects a kiss when he goes out! What’s the matter with him?!!!! He wonders why I don’t love him like I used to and don’t want sex with him! But he says he loves me. Yeah, right.
Beautiful day out there and he’s not here right now, but it’s like he tries to ruin every day for me or just expect me to forget every horrible thing he does!
But I’ve been to see a relative today who lives in a not very nice area and thought, blimey, I could be living somewhere like this soon (if I’m actually lucky to get out) and listening to all the noise and I’m not snobby or anything ((Detail removed by moderator). I just hate that we’ll have to leave our peaceful area and I can’t afford to get anywhere and have no job at the mo. It’s easy for him with his job and his money and can do what he likes. In reality, I just want to be out but with a teenage son who can do stuff with his dad sometimes, it makes me wonder how it’ll split us right down the middle and all their things. I know that sounds materialistic, but I’m not like that really,I just want somewhere for us to live away from him but when I hear and read what it’s like for others, it terrifies me. He has such a temper that I don’t know what he may be capable of and then the begging, crying, etc which I haven’t seen for years, if he did it with the kids around, I’ve no idea how I would handle it!
I hate the fact that he’s going to come home later, he makes me so miserable and in a way, it’s worse when he’s away, as I now know i want to get away but the massive disappointment of him always coming back. I have major pain issues that are always there and he doesn’t really care, though he pretends to when he feels like it.
I’m sorry to go on, this is a load of old waffle but I had to get it out. I thought my family understood but I can’t worry my mum too much and my sister still doesn’t get it, even though I thought she would.
Even the music I love, he chooses to say ‘shall we have some proper music on!’ and puts something else on. It’s really not worth the argument if I say anything. I just hate him. Why didn’t I see all this years ago when the children were younger and I had a job and could have got out a bit easier? Or would it be any easier? He makes me so miserable and I don’t want to be down around the children, they deserve so much more

[BakingQueen]

His anotherlife. It’s good to use this space to vent. Vent away, there will always be people here to listen.

In my opinion, it’s always best not to dwell on the should have and could haves otherwise we will all be constantly beating ourselves up. The point is they are lovely to draw you in, we’ve all been blinded to that, me included. Sadly that person they were wasn’t real, it wasn’t truly them. So don’t dwell on that too much. These men are clever.

I would say that I used to be petrified of what my ex would do when I eventually approached him and told him I couldn’t so it any more. He’s threatened all kinds of stuff “telling everyone about who I really am” etc. But none of it came to fruition. It’s all just words to keep you from leaving.

I know you have to leave in your own time, but know when you make that choice it will be the right one at the right time. Your kids will adjust in due time and eventually it will get better. It won’t be easy but it will get better. I’ve only recently left so still very much in that right patch but I have faith it will improve.

I’ve heard a lot of people say to ring the helpline, they are so kind and helpful and try and plan a save exit for when you do eventually decide to leave. You can plan with the ladies in the help line as well.

Good luck hun. You’ve totally got this! X

[Author]

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