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    • #20939
      betterdays
      Participant

      I’ve had to ask him for the rest of the holiday money as I’d nobody else to ask. I know I’ve got myself in a trap. He’s saying same thing how he just wants to be right with us and do tbings as a family. But obviously wants to go out twice a week drinking. He were here at weekend and I were peeling some potatoes he zaid il peel them as theyl be nowt left on them if u do them so I said don’t speak to me like that putting me down. So he said u just can’t keep ur f.ing mouth shut can u?? He then said he’s pissing in the wind basically because ud challenged him. I’m posting his money then that’s it x

    • #20941
      Serenity
      Participant

      Oh, Betterdays.

      It’s about setting boundaries.

      You were within your rights to ask him for money- but that didn’t oblige you to have him in your home.

      I fear you will have to go down the formal route to extract money from him- the CMS.

      Abusers will use money as a bargaining tool. He now feels entitled to abuse you again- because he gave you money. But he should be paying money for his child/ren .

      I went through the CMS. They chased him for maintenance, and even though he’s not yet paying what he should, I don’t need to be in co text with him. It’s done officially.

      You have proof now that as soon as he thinks he’s got his foot in the door again, he will start to bully you.

      Don’t feel deflated- this is other hoop to jump through, money. It needs sorting officially.

      I hope you can return to no contact xxxx

    • #20945

      Dear Betterdays, try not to be so hard on yourself, I think that you have done fantastically well so far. Don’t forget that we are dealing with something out of the ordinary & so difficult here, managing the manipulation, mind games & charm.try to get back to no contact wheremail possible. Every minute of NC gives you extra strength, your a strong & confident woman with great sons, you can do this! 💪💪💪💪💪

      • #20947
        betterdays
        Participant

        Hi I already do get c.s.a money I’d asked him as I would loose the holiday. He doesn’t need to be in my home to be right with me. He’s wanting to bring a new set of rules to the gable wbich is he wants a family life needs met but has his nights out too WHY???? X

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