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For the very first time, I put the phone down on him. He was screaming at me on a phone, shouting, saying I am useless (detail removed by moderator). I told him this is enough. and cut the call. And switched off my phone. Now I am sitting shaking on my bed, because I know it has made him really angry…..
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I still can’t believe I actually did it.
I have never done that before. I bet in the morning, it will be loaded with messages full of hatred.
but it feels like a step towards freedom.
But now I get this grieving mood – I still love him 🙁 I just wanted to be a family with him…. I thought he was a good man. with a kind heart… who would never want to hurt me… -
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Well done. He won’t like it, but you don’t need worrying about that. It isn’t your duty to keep him happy. And you don’t have to listen to abuse over the phone.
As for grieving him – that is natural. Of course you went into the relationship feeling positive and wanting him to treat you well. That is what most people want, and what they deserve. Including you. One day, you will find someone who knows your worth and treats you accordingly x -
Thank you…
It’s hard to see how conditional his ‘love’ is. I dont earn enough, my job is not good enough… In his eyes i do nothing to change my situation.
Like I have to meet the threshold so that I could be in this relationship…
I hope I hope I hope I will be strong and will not beg to be ‘forgiven’ and loved…… -
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the thing is, i dont feel i got any power back. now i feel i am at risk!!!!!!!!!!
i had a horrible day. he came all the way to my house last night. i was too scared to ignore him, i did not want a scene. i thought he wanted to talk. and i got into his car.WHY????????? Because i was scared. ANd while we were driving I thought we are actually gonna die. He did say, maybe we should die together. I was all shaking.
all day today, i spent with him. listening how much he hates me, my family. How useless I am. I dont even care about that bit. but when he SCREAMS how much he HATES me. When he calls my MUM names!!!!!!!!
In the end he said he WISH I DIE. he did threatened to kill me at some point as well.
I am scared. I dont want to involve police, because I think they would be powerless. no restraining order would stop him, if he wanted to take a revenge.
i might be overeacting and all his words might be empty.
but the truth is – I AM SO SO SCARED. i dont want him. i can deal with that love thing later. but i want to be alive.
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