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    • #42320
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I sat & counted teardrops, at least a million fell, Remembering & Reliving, all the years of hell. I sat & counted teardrops, falling from my eyes, Recalling verbal rage, question all the whys. I sat & counted teardrops that I used to have to hide, All the years of cruelty until I hid & cried. I sat & counted teardrops remembering all that fear, how it all got worse, with every passing year. I sit & count the teardrops as they fall, Reliving all the harm, that only I can recall. I sit & count the teardrops for his every lie, how he often told me, he wished that I would die. I sit & count the teardrops of sex & feeling scared, Shudder to recall he never ever cared. I sit & count the teardrops of how cruel he was to me, yet everyone thinks so highly of he. I sit & ask myself what I did so wrong, know I never did, except I wasn’t strong. I Sit & count the teardrops for each time he used my fears, He did this constantly across the years. I sat & counted teardrops I’d been totally defeated until I completely broke, Confusion that he caused that felt I was a joke. I sit & count the teardrops of all who got it wrong, It was him the abuser all a long. I sat & counted teardrops at least a million fell, I needed to tell my story that only I know so well. I sit & count the teardrops of professionals who do not hear, Have no clue of abuse & of every year. I sit & count the teardrops I know exactly what he did, It’s counselling that I need to be rid. I am not deluded or mentally insane, it’s help I need for me to regain. I sat & counted teardrops, at least a million fell, now its so important that we’re allowed to tell. I am not delusional or a mental case, just trying to recover years of abuse, wanting to lose every trace. I sit & count the teardrops for everyone whose suffered too, if it’s psychological & or beaten black & blue. I sit & count the teardrops for every woman who has been abused, hurt, manipulated, controlled & used. I sat & counted teardrops, at least a million fell, please don’t stay silent, get help & always tell. Don’t live in fear of an abuser who doesnt care, let’s all join together to make the world aware. I sat and counted teardrops, at least a million fell, it would be lovely to remove the years of hell. To sit & count the teardrops of happy tears instead. To rebuild a life that is not so full of dread. xx

    • #42386
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Blueberry,

      Thank you for sharing your very moving words with us.

      We are all here for you as you rebuild your life free from abuse with a bright and positive future to look forward to.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa
      Forum Moderator

    • #42388
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hi Lisa, Thank You, I hope it will help everyone realise that they are not alone, that it is the worst thing in this world to be abused. Worst of all is that others do not believe, I had no Idea why the last serious abuser had effected me so badly, not until the freedom Programme which was amazing, but sadly I think went too early as it made me realise so very much about my life, going right back to childhood abuse, I had worked out that he had retraumatised me at every angle, but hadn’t managed to work out why, it made me blame myself because I’d allowed him to abuse me, Like I had done others, my mannerisms screamed out what scared me & he picked up on them and to follow was years of mental hell. I sat & counted teardrops poem reflects strongly what abusers do, then we are blamed for being too weak & told it was our own fault. X

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