I saw his friend (also an ex friend of mine)

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hi all. I chose to work outside of the city I work in so I can have a fresh start away from anyone who is associated with my ex. But I’ve been feeling snappy all day and on edge and I couldn’t figure out why and how I do. I drove past his friend (who was also my friend but didn’t believe me when I told her I was abused) today and at the time I didn’t think it affected me. But I feel like it has emotionally got to me. Little things at work today were annoying me, I felt irritable around my mum today and she noticed. I feel like crying but I just don’t have the tears anymore. I refuse to hide away cos I’ve done nothing wrong I just chose to live a private life. But, when I see people associated with him I feel like I’m being abused all over again. I feel sick, panicky, down and really really anxious. I know this will pass but any coping strategies in dealing with this will help me massively. I also have a milestone birthday coming up and I just don’t know how I feel about it all. I can’t help but feel it but I feel as though I’ve wasted the best years in my life on this man and that’s stopping me from feeling positive about my birthday. I don’t feel proud at what I’ve achieved it’s almost as if I’m looking into my life from someone else’s eyes.

[KIP.]

Hi there. Practice mindfulness when you feel panicky and remember a good mantra. I choose how I feel and today I choose happiness. I will not let others destroy my inner peace. Etc. Whatever empowers you. I cannot change my beginning but I can change the ending. If you have a relaxation tape then get back to that. You need to keep up your self care regime. When we feel better we let our regime slip. You need to keep up self care. Yoga. Counselling etc. Recovery is always a work in progress. It will get easier x

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