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    • #9811
      SilkyHalide
      Participant

      So I didn’t do what he wanted and he’s implementing what he threatened. Punishment via the children.
      He always did have to win.
      How was I so blind?

    • #9869
      SaharaD
      Participant

      Just don’t let him into your head.

      Here is a link on no contact and handling abusers.

      http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/no-contact.html

    • #9903
      SilkyHalide
      Participant

      Thanks Sahara,
      I’ll have a look at this but I am learning.
      Been reading “why does he do that”
      I’ve read “how to do no contact like a boss” too.
      I refused to unblock his calls and that’s what he was punishing me for. Today I refused to speak to him if my daughter passed her phone to him. She was upset and angry with me but I was as clear about it being unnecessary for me to speak to him and why me not speaking to him didn’t stop me and her sorting out arrangements she wanted us to make for her.
      he has punished me again but his punishment has lost some of its power this time and I didn’t allow him to speak to me YAY me!

    • #9905
      SilkyHalide
      Participant

      Yes I see NC is the way to have the last word with the person who always has to have the last word. It is so powerful. I am powerful. He will not win anymore. Even when he seems to be winning its all illusion now I am taking power back.

    • #9914
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      Well done SilkyHalide,

      No Contact is our greatest weapon. My relationship with my children improved too with no contact with my abuser. He didn’t seem to have the same influence than when there was contact between us. Yes, you’re right, No Contact renders our abusers powerless and gives the power back to us.

      No Contact, apparently is the greatest narcissistic injury you can bestow on abusers and the like.

      Thank God for the strategy of No Contact.

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