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With him even though weve been apart (detail removed by Moderator) years. And ive been no contact nearly half a year.. its like hes still living here and hes going to come walking in. Surely i shouldnt feel like this now. We were together nearly (detail removed by Moderator) decades.. its an awful feeling xx
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Is it fear? Ive been living in fear for years of what he will do after he left, as I still get vicious psychological and emotional attacks when I dont expect it, taught me to try to be ready, on alert at all times. Thing is I cant maintain it. Am trying to learn to feel equipped, have faith that I can deal with whatever it is, let go, see what happens, deal with it when it happens. Its hard but the only real way to be, because if I dont I can’t actually live in the present, ever feel alive. No one can say what is normal, reckon only you know when its just time that you need to adjust, and when you need the help from someone else to overcome. FL.x
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