Tagged: Perpetrator awaiting charge
- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 4 weeks ago by Lisa.
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6th August 2024 at 8:04 pm #170398Stepbystep@44Participant
I am safely away from my ex and whilst the (detail removed by moderator) I have slowly started to feel as though he is still controlling my life.
We live in a very rural area and I’ve had to move away temporarily whilst my home is being put back together (detail removed by moderator). I escaped from him, but with him unable to take his rage out on me he took it out on my home. I am safe but no one in the locality knew about the coercive control element of our relationship, so I’ve been discreet from afar whilst (detail removed by moderator). This has resulted in me not ringing around the few ladies I had any communication with, to tell them what had happened; I’ve simply just left the area.
After a lengthy period, I’m now really beginning to feel as though my life is on hold; that he is still able to exert further control on what I do; having no real friends. I essence, not able to speak freely and be myself. All I want to do is tell the truth, to start to build and strengthen bonds & friendships for when i hopefully one day return, but is this ok to do?
When nothing is proven (detail removed by moderator) yet, should I sit tight and keep quiet. I don’t want to be accused of slander in a small community when nothing is yet proven re the coercive control.
Sorry this is lengthy, but I’m in a dilemma and I’d be so grateful for advice; life was lonely before but it continues to be so. I was going to speak to my IDVA today but she was unable to call, so dropping you a line. Thank you. -
7th August 2024 at 9:26 pm #170442LisaMain Moderator
Hi,
Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. You mentioned that you feel like your life is on hold- that you are not able to speak freely about what happened. If safe to do so-if there is one friend you can trust and who you can open up to- you still should be able to access your support network during this time if you need to.
You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.
Best Wishes
Lisa
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