I think he knows I'm ready to leave

[LozzyX]

For the last couple of weeks I have just been trying to gather information and support following what I call the ‘final straw’ incident. I need to sort out finances and I haven’t even seen a solicitor yet about divorce and the house…
I’ve been trying to carry on as normal in the meantime but it’s been so hard. On occasions it feels like we are still like how we used to be but things are different now, something has changed inside me.

Over weekend he was clearly high again but it means he is tolerable but I always know what comes next
.. so roll on this morning he is now all depressed , says he knows I’m leaving him.. he flips between being nice and apologising and cuddles to feeling totally sorry for himself and irritated … I am off to work now and can predict the next actions be will take .. extra moodiness, texts implying he may harm himself … And then when home it will be how worried he is because he is in so much debt to his dealer and if I can just lend him the money it will be his last time… He promised…

So my hand may be forced this week to have to leave without really having plans in place… As I’ve not refused to help him out before… But this time I really will refuse to lend him any money… And he knows not to approach my family either (I’ve not told them.much but that he spends all his money and they are not to give him any more).

So not sure how he is going to react. I’m gonna try not think about it too much and try and focus on work as I’m really behind with loads of stuff due to stress of the past few weeks … Well months really.

I am not really looking for any advice just sharing I guess to get it off my chest .

[Tiffany]

Keep yourself safe. Everything else can be sorted later.

[Author]

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