I think I have PTSD how do you cope

[Positiveandlookingahead]

I get extreme anxiety, I can’t sleep, I feel sick, petrified about being in large groups, being out of my comfort zone, being in the limelight, seeing people who know him, going to events in my community that I don’t sleep for days, I feel shortness of breath, I feel like my head is going to explode, I feel worried, I start becoming very tearful, my body aches with all the stress. Are these symptoms you have because of PTSD? I don’t go and see my doctor because I’m scared of that too! It’s a vicious cycle I need help. I haven’t had counselling I should have it through my GP soon. I have an appointment booked in April. I’ve been on the waiting list for both counselling with Women’s Aid and with them too that I decided to go with the GP one whilst I save some money as ive paid big debts off so didn’t want to have another financial commitment. I think I’ll get back on the list so I use this service to help me feel like good about myself. I can’t do this anymore by myself. I feel exhausted my body feels like someone has literally punched the living days out of me. I have a spa day booked soon I need it so badly. X*x

[starchild]

Hello
Yes they are all symptoms of PTSD. Mine did not kick in until 4 yrs. after he left when he started up another assault of stalking, bombarding with legal letters, because he had exhausted all other routes in a process, and was not getting his way
currently I feel ;like I permanently have a tonne weight on my chest, cant stop shaking most of the time. I am on tenterhooks waiting for the next email or letter, and that front has gone quiet again as I am again waiting for someone to sign off the paperwork….. this is the fourth time in as many months, and each previous agreement has been reneged on backed with threats amounting to extorting money out of me to go away ….

[Dragonfly]

Hi

I think I was suffering from this too. Then thought I was recovering. Now it comes and goes. I went to gp last week. I was shaking and she said ‘so why did you need an emergency appointment today’ (I had to make an emergency appointment because I’d been phoning for 40 mins and that’s all that was left.

Her attitude actually had me in tears. I told her I’d been attacked and he went on trial and lied etc. Then she took me seriously. She said I may have PTSD but didn’t want to label it right niw. Gave me info for a self referral psychologist place and said counseling should be an option but I’d have to wait or pay for it. She offered me anti depressants. I didn’t take them.

I think you should go for your counselling. I’m going to.

[WalkerInTheRain]

I was starting to get completely seized up by anxiety, I couldn’t focus, was getting flashbacks and couldn’t sleep properly.
It was hard (I nearly walked out of the waiting room) but I did approach my GP.
I’d avoided antidepressants for so long as I didn’t want to admit defeat or appear weak but they really have helped me. I’m not farting sparkles and rainbows but some of the fog has cleared, the anxiety has lowered and I can think more clearly.

PTSD is incredibly common after an abusive relationship; you’ve been living with live ammunition, putting all your energy into trying to prevent it exploding.

[starchild]

I am avoiding the Anti Depressants as I have spent too much of my life on them. Id go to the doctor and say this is what is going on …they’d give me Prozac…Seroxat….the last lot Citalopran…. was cause that was what was thought the best way to treat my menopause, as I already had a hormone imbalance and auto immune diagnosis.

No I just see it all as – all I was doing was using them to paper over the cracks of the abuse…at the relevant times in the abusive cycles

[starchild]

In UK counselling is free, but you just have to wait for it.
My GPs for a long time used to use the term ‘I have an unsupportive husband’ to describe my abuse. I have since changed doctors and a friend corroborated my story with their own evidence which has led to my PTSD diagnosis.

I cant deal with what’s going on for me at the moment with counselling, because the coercive and controlling behaviour is currently being acted out daily, through the legal process. I have also just had to look at my Friendship Groups ( see my post on having a bad day).

I am sick of being blamed for my situation … my friends think because I wont walk away from everything ive created my illness, yet they have all seen and even supported his behaviour in the past when it suited them… on some levels

I have learnt that there are some sick people out there, who play with peoples emotions and for their own gain, or even just for Sport as I have experienced this weekend.

Its funny on this forum we all tell the same story, with the same outcomes, that show the behaviours we all experience are not individual, but are presented again and again by different individuals not connected, showing that for some reason people just end up being wired in a particular way. Is it nature or nurture (learnt behaviour)?

Get some help is all I can say … x

[Nova]

Hi it sounds like PTSD it’s a multi problem disorder, which your describing, I have had it since getting out of the abuse prison, no wonder we feel anxious insomniacs, aching is tension related, all combined is hellish and difficult to cope on a daily basis..

..I found so far, I do what’s absolutely necessary don’t overload myself mentally or physically. I catchup on sleep whenever I can, day &/or night, I go swimming as it relieves the muscle tension and gets me moving, pamper myself a bit, like DIY nails,hair,etc…try to eat & healthily, odd treat!

Be kind to yourself & start with a new routine, I’m picking up things I used to like, now I’m remembering more positive things.

It’s a combination of counselling, to offload anonymously, & self help, + small steps, & if at all possible..NC!

Go easy!
Hugs C x

[Falling Skys]

Hi, I’m a suffer too. Though I do have some respite between attacks now. (sadly today has been hard)

I find try not to be hard on yourself you have been though so much, counselling has been a great help to me, and I can get over the attacks quicker.

So pleased to have a spa day you need to have me time, I get my nails done and am in the process of getting a new hair style.

Hugs FS xx

[Serenity]

I agree- a combination of things: counselling, support group, offloading, self-pampering, rest, little treats…

Care for yourself in every possible dimension- body, mind and spirit.

And allow yourself ‘time and a half’ to do things ( a slightly slower pace stops burn out).

Don’t push yourself to do too much before you’re ready.

xx

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Thank you all so much! Today was a huge success. This inner warrior strength came from somewhere. I smiled and I laughed and I spent a great day with family and friends. I also saw his mates who literally disappeared when they saw me – they know what’s good for them! I have another thing I’ve been brave about and ticked off my list. He can get lost oh no wait he already has? Where was he today? He’s a wimp! People we know asked how my husband was and you know what I didn’t cry I didn’t get upset I told them EXACTLY what he is. I’m not scared of him I’m telling the truth. I knew I would feel empowered afterwards.

Ladies I love how we are all here for one another. We will get through this. I’ll go to my doctor and start talking about things. I’m hopefully going to have a day tomorrow where I take time for myself. I’m going to do a face mask and wash my hair. I think little things like that really help us. We have so much to deal with in our lives that we need that time out. It’s exhausting and NONE of this is our fault! This is all THEIR faults. We have not created any of this. But we will get through this no matter how hard this illness tries to destroy us. The reason for that is because we are together, we are kind hearted, strong beautiful women and at the end of the day we can live with ourselves. They on the other hand are dysfunctional, unhinged, psychotic, vile, unattractive and they have to live with their vile traits everyday. I know it’s so difficult for me at time but I am so grateful to be who I am because I don’t have to live with that monster anymore I can bear to look at myself and I can bear to live with myself! I would rather be who I am than be him. I don’t care if my empathetic traits attracted me to him because he got fuel from it. Someone like me is far more attractive, likeable and successful. Someone like him skips from place to place, person to person because he can sustain anything consistent cos eventually his true colours show. I will never change my personality because I was abused. I’m a survivor x

[Serenity]

Positive, if your subject matter weren’t so serious, I could laugh.

You’re so fiery and to the point!

We all need to be fiery and to the point!

We need to be warriors!

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Lollllll!!!! Thanks 😊. He didn’t like the fact I was direct he used to call me too opinionated lol he’s a thick t**t lol!!!!! Today felt sooo amazing it was like a massive two fingers stuck up at him! Some of his family wanted to talk to me I know they’re fond of me but it’s awkward and I’m nothing to do with them anymore! He’s actually a joke he can’t show his face lol he’s the biggest wimp I’ve seen in my life that he has to treat me like this and then hide away. If you’re such a big man like you think you are why don’t you show your face? Cos you’re a weasel s**t face just like your family and you know that this city is a much better place without your ugly mug in it!!!! Even my cousins dogs poo is more attractive than his face. It’s ok now he now has the opportunity to text girls like he did when we were married and flirt and clearly do more with them from the sounds of his message cos he said that he thought he could flirt with girls in a marriage. I think he’s so thick he even believes his own b******t Lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Nova]

Yay! Positivity ! Love this!! I agree wimps cowards, weak little toads with nothing to offer. I will be keeping up with your amazingness…the power of positivity!

I read a great quote today..If you put as much effort into BEING a good person as you do PRENTENDING to be a good person…you could actually BE a good person…enough said 👌🏽

Cx

[Jupiter]

Hi

I live with ptsd too and use a mix of things to cope .
Being able to laugh is a great treatment as it gets rid of tension, anxiety and produces some feel-good hormones from the brain.
Over 20 years ago I remember a true story which made me giggle :-
An elderly woman hatched a plan to increase her income living alone.She placed a personal ad in a paper, making out she was 18, blonde, with long legs,seeking love.A load of lusty men fell for it and replied quickly.But-as each male knocked her door,she told them they had to strip in her garden so she could see them properly.They did. However, as each man stood naked outside the woman’s window,the tactic changed.She shrieked with pretend fear that they had to pay a set amount of money or she would call the police!! The old woman’s crafty ploy lasted for some time until she got caught out after the men had paid up.
Reading this really helped me during a difficult patch.
Jupiter

[Author]

Posts