I think I'm starting to go a bit mad

[TakingMeBack]

Talking to myself in my head a lot, it’s making me feel a bit crazy. I don’t remember doing this so much before. I watch tv and and sometimes it makes me realise it’s hard to tell what’s real life. Is everyone just acting. I’m sick of feeling so numb, I can picture in my head incidents that were horrific but feel no emotion. It doesn’t feel like it happened to me, I often wish it was like a movie so I could watch it too know it really happened and then maybe I’d feel the way I should about it. I think the feeling no emotion is making me doubt everything that happens in life. I analyse everything and I also think about what else in my life has happened that my brain has blacked out. My cousin reminded me about a time where he dragged me infront of a mirror crying and made me look whilst telling me how ugly I was. I forgot about it until she said, so what else has happened? I’ll probably never know.

Is this normal? can anyone else who has felt the same please tell me a bit about there situation and if it changes.

[Anonymous]

I think we block stuff out as a means to survive. I’ve been out many months and only now have I started to feel upset about what happened to me. For a long time, I thought I was dead inside and my tear ducts were broken!!

I had problems remembering a lot of what happened. Some of it is just coming back to me. Things that might seem like a major incident to an outsider were just an every day occurrence, so I had no particular reason to remember them, nor did I want to.

You’re perfectly normal. Just traumatised. You’ll get through it.

[Fudgecake]

What I’m finding hard as well as flashbacks are the regular unsettling dreams. There seems no escape from it right now. On occasion for no apparent reason I get an overwhelming feeling of panic like being dragged down into the depths. It does indeed feel like you’re going mad.

[Cecile]

Sounds like PTSD. Please see a doctor, you don’t have to live like this.x👍

[IndecisiveGirl]

I also feel like I have blacked a lot out over the years. A long time after I had been experiencing the abuse I started opening up to my Mum about things, I’d ring her most mornings when I was commuting to work, and I’d get upset about events of the night before, I wouldn’t always share everything, but now my Mum sometimes reminds me of things when I’m starting to doubt myself, and it surprises me that I’d forgotten stuff.

I also go through/talk to myself in my head. I think it’s just a way of trying to process things. And I also often feel numb about events/like they weren’t that bad but as I’ve started to open up about the abuse, it surprises me how shocked people are, when I thought it wasn’t that bad because it wasn’t the worst thing he did if that makes sense?

[Author]

Posts