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I started a contact book because the ex messaged me all the time through Facebook. What’s app. Text etc and it was too much. I was anxious everytime I got a message. I told him I was blocking him from everything. I told him I will get a contact book so we can address each other’s issue that way and I said my phone will.be available to contact only when he has my daughter incase she needs me.
He stopped writing in the book so last week when I sent it I asked him to use the book and not disregard my concerns that’s what the book was for. I had asked why she has a mark on her face and he ignored it. He used to hurt my 2 other kids so I didn’t know what to think when i saw the mark. Luckily it’s fine I asked my daughter about it and she said nanny was looking after her and she fell.
She came home today without the book. I messaged him and he refused to return it and said it.dont work and talking through text and what’s app is better. I don’t agree as I don’t think we need to communicate or have conversation. That’s why I started the book.
I’m surprised his partner don’t get fed up with him wanting to communicate with me all the time and he has pics all over his Facebook of me and him loved up and refuses to take them off -
It does sound like he is trying to flex his muscles here, and clearly wants to be the one calling the shots. He doesn’t like the fact that you were assertive and have set clear boundaries with contact, so he is bound to push them. Wants you to know he ‘has the power.’
You may want to look into different avenues of contact with your children as he isn’t respecting the rules you have set out for him. You might need to get mediators or some other 3rd party to get involved.
His partner probably is sick of it and uncomfortable with it but he may well intimidate her out of questioning him or making any demands. These people have trouble letting go and I think new ‘partners’ just have to like it or lump it as far as they are concerned.
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He sounds like he is really pushing boundaries, trying to control the situation. You’re doing the right thing setting up the book. Stick to your boundaries and don’t let him bully you. Could you use a third party to arrange contact? There is absolutely no reason he should be able to contact you through all those methods, delete whatsapp and block him on facebook etc and don’t tell him about your life anymore, he has no right to know anything about you, his only concern should be if he wants contact or not. Make it a professional arrangement for him to see the children and remove yourself out of the equation, as he is just using contact with you to abuse you further. Also don’t tell him you’re deleting him etc, just delete and block him on everything then keep only one line of communication open purely for arranging contact, preferably through a family member or lawyer.
Also keep an eye out for those marks, that sounds very worrying if he used to hurt the other children. Photograph any marks and keep a log of dates and times, perhaps the others can help more with this as I’m not sure but if it was me I wouldn’t want my child visiting a man who is known to hurt children but with the law I’m not sure if he is legally entitled to contact. Has his contact being arranged through the court, are social services involved?
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Yes through court and cafcass. Unfortunately I ended up with a cafcass officer who was all for fathers rights and said what he did in the past is the past. I only left him (Detail removed by moderator) ago it’s not really the past. And it still affects my boys. One has to see.child phycologist because of the abuse. The cafcass person lied though in her report and made stuff up. Even lied about stuff my older kids said to her. So he ended up with shared care of the little one.
He takes her to his friend aswell who we stopped contact with because he bullied my kids and twisted my son’s arm. (Detail removed by moderator) he hasn’t been convicted of anything so I can’t stop it
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