I told someone

[Anonymous]

I told one of my few friends.

It was great, she was great.

I feel exhausted by the admission though. It’s made it all seem more real.

Almost in response my physical health is slipping.

But this just shows it’s time to go right?

I feel excited, exhilarated, terrified and ashamed for the weeks to come. It’s time to leave this mess.

[KIP.]

Well done. The exhaustion comes from the adrenaline it takes to talk about abuse so there will often be an aftershock. But these become less severe over time. Recovery is like a roller coaster ride but eventually there are much fewer ups and down and the ride becomes much more calm x

[Anonymous]

Thanks KIP – you are a regular wise comfort in these strange times. X

[KIP.]

It’s time to correct the mistake you made years ago x

[Lottieblue]

@sande, the best piece of advice I was given at the stage you are now at is: you have to eat and you have to sleep – I could do neither. This friend said to me that if I failed to do these things, I wouldn’t have the strength to do what had to be done. She was so right. I forced myself to eat on the basis that it’s not so easy to force oneself to sleep, but doing one is better than skipping both. It is amazing how the adrenaline keeps you buzzing and on high alert, no matter how shattered you are. You need to make a conscious effort now to keep yourself on the rails physically.
Good luck. It is worth it. It takes more strength than you would ever had believed was possible, but accept all the support you are offered, lean, and you will instinctively feel that you are going to be ok. 💕💕

[Anonymous]

Assuming you’re not telepathic (!) This is so strange to read. My appetite has completely folded. Usually I can eat a lot but now, no it’s gone.

I am trying hard to eat little and often. And yes, I will be OK. For one thing there is no choice. I have to be.

[KIP.]

It’s the stress that steals your appetite and it’s really important to eat for mental as well as physical strength. I lost a lot of weight and was down to eating an egg a day it was quite horrendous. So make sure you make that a priority. Keep a glass of water next to you at all times and keep sipping away. Force yourself to eat. I had this dreadful knot in my stomach for years making me feel sick. Mindfulness and yoga may take your mind off it or getting out walking.

[Anonymous]

Yes, i feel like I’m going to vomit as soon as I eat. Then I have to lie down.

Now he’s being b****y pleasant and it’s even more unnerving. How on God’s green earth does he think I can just ignore that recently he was being awful? Arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh

[KIP.]

Try to remember his brain is wired completely differently to yours. Don’t try to understand him from your mindset. He’s all about devious manipulation but he will pull the rug from under you the first chance he gets. You can use this honeymoon period to your advantage.

[Author]

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