I want another baby

[Edel23]

Is it selfish to want another baby. I’m with a coercive and controlling man. We already have 2.due to my age this could be my last chance. He hasn’t spoke to me in a (removed by moderator) and slept with me in a (removed by moderator) as he uses this a a control tactic. Please don’t judge me. I just love my children so much and I want another. He knows this and it’s it last bit of control. I’m a great mother and will have lots of support from my own family.

[Watersprite]

Hey I don’t think it is at all selfish to want another baby but only you can know if it is the right thing for you, your family and a new baby. I do know that living in abusive relationship isn’t good for kids no matter how great a mum we are. They see so much more than we think they do they suck it up it effects them I thought I was protecting my family it was only when we left the effects came out.
You say you have good support could you talk to them about your relationship? It sounds really hard not being spoken to and having the loving relationship you deserve. Take care x

[Lisa]

Hi Edel23,

It seems that you are new here and have just started posting, so welcome.
I hope you find this a safe and supportive place to express yourself.
It must be conflicting , emotionally, wanting to have a child at this stage in your life and being in such a relationship.
I’m sure the women here can provide insight that is helpful. You may also find it useful to speak to your local domestic abuse service. Ultimately, this is your choice to make as Watersprite mentioned, but reaching out to professionals who also understand the dynamics of domestic abuse and may be familiar with this situation can help you gain perspective so you can make an informed decision that’s right for you.
All the best,

Lisa

[Edel23]

Thanks for replying! I have been in touch with My local women’s Aid.
I had been wanting to call them for years. So it was very emotional and such a relief. I am so tempted to tell my brother but once i tell him there will be no going back. He will be supportive I’m sure. Maybe they know already as theres been a few comments about control.
I always wanted one more. I know I should appreciate the 2 I have but i can’t help it!it will be the ending of so many things. Also dreading co parenting it will be such a nightmare.I don’t think I can do it. I feel so at peace when he’s not here. Myself and so relaxed. Even the children are better. There has always been control but this has worsened and became more verbal emotional and physical last year. But also throwing blankets around etc the physical episode really was the end for me so I’ve been grieving since then.
The split will be so hard and if he turns nasty I don’t think I can cope.
He knows I’m only here as I’ve nowhere to go right now, want another child and have no money due to paying for everything except big bills. The children are completely funded by me. I am trapped and conflicted. Maybe I will make a decision soon. I contacted women’s aid for example and that was a big step. Thank you

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